Blogging

Part of the reason I have this blog is to keep my unfiltered unstopping unedited thoughts off of my main blog - and stop overwhelming people with my thoughts :) . I'm finally coming to a realization though I will never be one of those bloggers who posts daily snippets of their perfect seemingly daily life with rarely a moment of down time in between. I'm just not that person. I LOVE my down time, I LOVE my introspection, I LOVE my roller coaster of emotions. I LOVE my bestie who understands those better than anyone else. I LOVE that I can take a FIVE week break from social life to rediscover that my HUSBAND is my best friend, and my BESTIE is still there. That is me. And this has been the history of my life with a world of possibilities at my door.

Single Mom at 17.

Found the soon to be love of my life at 18.

Got my dream proposal on the beach at sunset without even telling him.

Moved to Texas.

Married him.

Bought a house.

Had another kid.

Fell in love with my husband.

Rented out our house.

Moved to Cali for a year.

Moved back to Texas.

Found the best girlfriends in the entire world.

Fell in love with my husband once again.

Sold our house.

Bought another house.

Rented it out.

Fell in love with my husband all over again.

Starting a business with my honey.

Perfect life, right? Now read this. This is what life REALLY looks like. And what I ADORE and LOVE about life:

Single Mom at 17.

*Fell apart as what I thought was the love of my life turned out to be lust and he left me in a miserable fetal position ball of tears.

Found the soon to be love of my life at 18.

*Realized I found the RIGHT man for me after praying for him. Wasn't really in love, but knew he was the best man I have ever known and that if I let him go I would be destroying my own answered prayer.

Got my dream proposal on the beach at sunset without even telling him that was my dream.

*Moved by myself with my little one to Justin as his parents freaked out and I couldn't handle their reaction. His mom said we were having "puppy love" and making up a dream of setting up house. We had to tell his Dad, "Aren't you supposed to say congratulations?"

Married him.

*Moved into our first apartment on a $9/hour budget with a baby, a mattress on the floor, and a cardboard box for a dining table.

Bought a house.

*Slept through the move in process while my sister and husband moved us in as I was pregnant and in the tired stage and missing my mommy.

Had another kid.

*Ventured on the suburban perfect housewife track with flylady.net and got it down pat with a perfect house and garden.

Fell in love with my husband.

*Decided we were "strong enough" to move back to Cali amidst the pressure of family where Brando could work for my Dad.

Rented out our house.

*Again with the perfectness, every box was labeled and to a T. What we didn't put into storage we took with us. Cue horrendous argument on the road trip to Cali - that should've been a sign.

Moved to Cali for a year.

*Moved in with our parents so we could afford to live in Cali and fell completely apart relationally. While the situation was ideal with grandparents to watch the kids whenever we rarely took advantage of it as they were busy watching the other grandchildren whose parents did take advantage of it. We spent all the way more money than we'd ever earned on eating out and painting pottery just to have moments to ourselves.

Moved back to Texas.

*Cried for three months about how lonely I was and missed family. Finally pulled myself up by the boot straps and reached out.

Found the best girlfriends in the entire world.

*Partied my heart out, partly to figure out what it was like, partly to find myself, and partly to stay in my relationship without having to be in it.

Fell in love with my husband once again.

*Realized how many jerks and losers there are out there, amongst my girlfriends and their relationships, guys out and about at night, and realized once again what an amazing man is in my life and how grateful I am to have him.

Sold our house.

*Paid off $20,000 of debt with our equity.

Bought another house.

*Used Brando's pull as a real estate agent to have only $5000 down then spent the next year crying because I was lonely for my girlfriends so close to our old place.

Rented it out.

*Realized my husband would and will do anything for me, and discovered amongst the tears that having a quiet at home life where I spent the majority with my honey and family, not my friends, might be what I want after all.

Fell in love with my husband all over again.

*Eeeked out a balance with friends and going out, discovered that as I age life isn't going to get any easier lest I pour my heart into and decided I want to pour my heart into our family and starting a business together that will take up every second of our free time and decided that the free time I have left over I want to spend with my honey and my family.

Starting a business with my honey.

*Who knows what this bullet point is or will be, maybe it's my back, maybe it's the contractions we are going through as we figure out how to work together, but that's the beauty of life. There really is a rainbow after the hurricane, along with the clear air, rebuilding better than before the damage, and using bug repellent of confidence, determination, and enthusiasm for the annoying mosquitoes of doubt, insecurity, and failure.