Quote I just read that I want to hang onto:

"I've noticed that familiarity either breeds one of two feelings: boredom or overwhelmingly-wonderful nostalgia." -Ashley, A Blossoms Story

So, so, so often I've noticed this. Now to turn those boredom ones into overwhelmingly-wonderful nostalgia.

Things I learned about cooking from my Grandma

*Enjoy the process and engage your guests in the process. Who cares if it takes all day. If you have a table full of deliciousness at the end and good company to eat it with, it was worth it.

*For easy serving with company, serve buffet style on the counter. Set out the dishes with spoons and set the table. Everybody grabs their plate and serves themselves.

*Use placemats and napkins. Set the place settings properly. It makes guests feel special.

*Use whatever you have on hand for salads. The more the merrier, just make sure it goes together. Red onion, mandarin oranges, and cucumber or cucumber, celery, and tomatoes.

*Use tried and true recipes. Favorite and family recipes. They make things more delicious and meaningful.

*Serve green bean salad. It's delicious. And my Grandma makes it.

*Organize cabinets by stacking like items - bowls with bowls, pans with pans, skillets with skillets. Being in multiple houses with small kitchens from park models to RVs taught my Grandma this is the best route to go. This makes everything easily accessible, and easy to get to.

*Use leftovers to make sandwiches for lunch. I watched my Grandma make pork sandwiches out of the evenings before meal, smoked beef sandwiches out of a gift from a friend - anything can make a good sandwich. This uses up last night's leftovers or whatever is on hand and doesn't take too much thought to have a quickly delicious lunch.

Things I learned about road trips

*Take potty breaks whenever necessary. It's not worth holding it for that last two hour stretch. You'll arrive miserable.

*Stop often and enjoy the scenery. Climb a rock mountain just because. Pull over and throw snowballs in a small town.

*Act like your locals. Don't treat the towns like road stops and find whatever gross place on the side of the highway locals refuse to go to. Find a local coffee shop and enjoy an amazing Cafe Au Lait.

*Download books on your iPod. For free, if you have a husband like mine. Don't listen to them on shuffle.

*Bring plenty of snacks. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner snacks. Bagels are good. So is tuna for a lunch when you don't have anywhere to stop.

*Bring a pillow and blanket, especially for the little ones. Let them build car forts in the back seat of the mini van. Have them cuddle up to go to sleep.

*This is essential for our family: leave EARLY in the morning rather than drive at night. 3am drives I can do. Driving *until* 3am, not so much.

*Switch drivers every time you get gas. Or every two and a half hours or so when you stop for a potty break. Nobody gets burnt out, and it makes the drive enjoyable for everyone.

I have been in a fog lately. I thought it was just me until today my best friend told me she has been in a fog since June. A fog meaning both her and I grateful for life but she just can't fully enjoy it and have that feeling of overly bubblicious life like her and I normally always do. In fact, I look at her and I's pictures from our San Antonio road trip and I see how the two of us are just bubbling over with happiness for life.

Things have happened since then.

In 2009, we both started school and got overwhelmed.

In 2010, her mom passed away.

In 2010, I held her up as much as I could when her mom passed away.

In 2010, Brando's and my closest couple friends disowned us and severely judged our every move.

In 2011, a year passed since her mom passed away. That was June.

In 2011, a whole new year of grieving started for her.

In 2011, a new kind of support for her started for me.

In 2011, I finally let go of the friendship we lost in 2010 even though it still hurts.

Today, those events cloud my vision of reality superimposing it with the emotion of those events. I thought it was just me. Turns out she is in the same boat. I am so glad God brought her and I together to go through life together and mirror each other's emotions even when we don't realize it. She is going to talk to her counselor on Friday about it and share with me what she says. Maybe it's time for me to go back to counseling. Allison has mentioned in the past she goes for a yearly 'check-up'. Maybe it's time for my yearly (or two) check up.

On leaving comments about the pictures on a post without reading the post

These are thoughts I've had for awhile ever since I saw Ashley from Hudson's Happenings mention this happens to her frequently. My thoughts just spilled out as a comment to this post by Elle just now as I'd never realized the gravity of the situation and I had to save them here:

Wow. What a situation to learn from! I've never understood that concept, and was introduced to it for the first time when I saw a blogger mention how it hurts when it happens to her. I'm not sure if anyone has ever done it to me, except for the obvious 'spam-type' comments. I always think people pull out a specific thing that interests them about a post to comment on. This is why I find it  hard to understand how some people can read SO MANY blogs to increase their readership!! I tried that a bit over the summer and felt like their are so many relationships I 'sorta' started and then fell by the wayside because I had forgotten who they were in the deluge of visiting blogs. Such a sad affair, when some of my closest friends are blog friends I have met in real life. I think this is one of the reasons my blog 'sped up' so quick and then slowed down SO much, because I missed the intimacy of truly reading a blog and understanding someone's life. I just met a blog friend this week in real life and am so excited that perhaps it may have worked. Getting to know someone is so much better than looking at their pictures and thinking you know them without really realizing what and who they are all about.

Picking up the blogger gauntlet

I think I have to admit my life is starting to get busy again.

I had a little bit of a break when the kids were both in elementary school, but with Justinbustin in middle school it's a whole new world.

I *thought* I would be less busy, but I'm really not.

I have two pick up times and two drop off times. Two places to volunteer at. Clubs to assistant coach. Band to figure out. Grades to check up on to relay to my son so he can take care of them if need be.

Boy scouts pick up drop off once a week with once a month campouts.

Tumbling pick up drop off once a week.

Youth group pick up drop off once a week.

It might be more mental work with lots o' driving, but it's busy again.

I don't think I give myself enough credit. Yes, I do have some downtime. My evenings are packed solid though, as are my mornings and late afternoon.

Instead of normal evening downtime, I get my downtime late morning, early afternoon when I'm not working, which I'm crossing my fingers will pick back up after the holidays. The rest is a blur. A fun, crazy blur, but a blur.

When I work, I get no downtime. Which is okay, too. Just more stressful.

So, yeah, I rock. I just forgot.

Humidity Frizz

Absolutely LOVING my new hair dryer. The weather is a perfect mess of humidity. But my hair is silky soft without a bit of frizz. I only slightly dampened it and blow dryed it this morning, too, just to tame it into submission after bed head from going to bed with wet hair. LOVE.

Made the previous post melt away :)

OMG I am SO broke right now and the kids have SO much stuff coming up with the holidays. It's my fault because I bought that darn hairdryer and don't want to ask brando's mom for the birthday money to pay it back right away since she's in the middle of a three day court case with his dad. ughers. everywhere i turn it's donations here, party money there, not to mention the money for robotics i've been covering out of my own pocket, regular bills, and food. middle school and upper elementary grades are SO EXPENSIVE and now we have two!! oh my darn word.

My new bed

Anniversary gifts

Oh Christmas Tree

Brought the kids to church today finally! We drop them off and have a morning date. I have an internal struggle with going to church these days. My parents didn't go as I was growing up. My Dad is the only one who goes now. Brando's and my marriage is SO much more happier and peaceful since we have  NOT been going to church. Mostly, I think because we get at least one day a week together. And so we don't go. I still think it's important for the kids to have that Godly structured environment, though, as we certainly don't provide it at home. The structured learning that is. We definitely pray at bed time and talk about our relationship with God.

We also went to a wind ensemble orchestra performance conducted by Justinbustin's band teacher. I so did NOT want to go. Once I was there, though, the music gave me chills. And got me in a bit of the holiday spirit with Baby, It's Cold Outside and Sleigh Ride. I needed that. It was also cute seeing Justinbustin sit with a few band friends who migrated to where we were sitting. They were so excited to see their band teacher on stage.

This year Brando brought in the beautiful fake tree a friend of my sister's had given us last year but we didn't have time to put it up last year. He put the lights on it as well. The boys put Christmas Pandora music on and made hot chocolate with marshmallows. Then, the boys put the ornaments on the tree. I put a few finishing ornaments on it and Brando took pictures. Justinbustin put the Christmas lights up outside. He did such a beautiful job.

Regarding my nothing post, I've decided to live by this motto and it worked well for me tonight. It may sound simple and duh to some people, but after years of cleaning up after four, then giving up, it's a whole new eye opener for me:

Maybe it'll keep me from doing nothing.

I Just Got Back from the Salon!

Oops, I accidentally posted one of my 'private' posts on PSD leading you here. Instead of editing the post to take away the link, I deleted it and now that post is forever stuck in google reader. Sigh. If you are here by way of my accidental post on PSD, please know that this is my private little journal. The unshiney one without the pictures. The stuff I just need to get out and don't have the time or energy to finesse into a pretty post. I love my PSD, but this is my cathartic outlet. You are welcome to read, but please know I actually appreciate the minimal feedback I get here and don't advertise this blog for that reason. I like to write with the freedom of knowing if anyone reads, it is only those who love, understand, and care about me most, even if those are people I've never met, without any sort of complicated or uncomplicated judgement.

Back to this post:


Only not...

What I really did was blow dry my already dry, disgusting been in the humidity all day hair with my new T3 Featherweight Luxe and it *gave* me salon like hair in less than two minutes.

In LOVE.

Thanks to a super late birthday present my MIL.

Love, love, LOVE it. Can't wait to wake up in the morning, dampen my hair, and walk out in two minutes like I just came from the salon.

Add to that how fantastically I've figured out how to paint my nails lately so much so that my cosmetologist sister asks if they are shellac nails.

Now to get my eyebrows waxed to feel like a total woman again...

I may seriously need an intervention.

Update here.

I have a problem with not living in the moment.

When I take pictures of things and look back on them, I LOVE what I created in my life.

When I'm taking the picture, I pick it apart and don't ever appreciate it in the moment.

Mostly, I pick me apart.

It takes me about three months to love a picture.

_____

I have a problem with doing nothing.

I blame it on my kids, I blame it on my lack of degree, I blame it on my lack of a job.

But, really, it's me.

To me, doing nothing is keeping everything afloat: boy scouts, youth group, church, tumbling for shawners, robotics for justinbustin, being assistant coach as robotics, occasionally working for my dad, making travel arrangements for my parents, spending time with brando, cultivating our marriage, cultivating our relationship. volunteering twice a week at the kid's school, prayer meetings for the boys, making sure to have a conversation with the boys every day about three interesting things that went on at school that day, having the resources to do all those.

To me, doing nothing is the hours and hours I spend on blogs, pinterest, facebook, and hulu, because doing anything else drains all the energy out of me to be able to do all those things above.

To me, doing nothing is not having the gumption to get a job because I don't want to mess up the delicate balance of the above.

To me, doing nothing is having a million and one DIY projects I want to do but don't because a) I feel like it would be a waste of time when I could be working at a job and b) because I don't work I don't have the money to waste to get on even the few little supplies it would take.

To me, doing nothing is being out of a job for the last ten years with few short-lived sabbaticals and not even remembering who that person was who worked full-time for four years from the age of thirteen to the age of seventeen, as a nanny to four kids, then as an advertisement representative at a newspaper.

To me, doing nothing is not wanting to go to school because it upsets that delicate balance above.

To me, doing nothing is figuring if I'm this lazy any way, what good is going to school going to do me. I'll still be just as lazy.

To me, doing nothing is not figuring this all out til' I sit down to watch hulu for the day.

To me, doing nothing, is feeling this way while my hubby texts me "Your my awesome." as I literally typed that above sentence.

______

Like I said, I may seriously need an intervention.