Friday, November 26, 2010
Black Friday
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
DAMMIT
I completely, totally, one hundred percent forgot I had my government class yesterday. My parents are in town, the boys were off school, and it was Brando's one day off this week (besides the actual day of Thanksgiving) so I was in total vacation mode and it just COMPLETELY SLIPPED MY MIND. I am SO MAD AT MYSELF and trying not to be. The worst part is I was sleeping in!!! So I TOTALLY could've gone. It wasn't even like I missed a fabulous family breakfast like we had on Sunday when Brando made us an omelette buffet and made us omelettes to order. I SLEPT IN. I have an exam next Wednesday so now I will have to work twice as hard to make up for it once my parents take off. AND, UGH, I just realized I have a class next Monday too when my parents are taking off for the airport. AND a paper due that day. I guess I'm glad I'm writing this out so I can realize what I need to get done.
I've realized I have a HUGE PROBLEM when my schedule changes. I FORGET EVERYTHING I REGULARLY HAVE TO DO. Seriously, I don't know how many "regular" things I do that I have just completely utterly dropped when my schedule changes in the slightest, i.e. doing Wednesday folders for Justinbustin's class when I stopped volunteering on Wednesdays and Shawners had a field trip that day. I remembered Shawner's Wednesday folders, I even helped the Mom delivering spirit gear that morning. Just completely forgot Justinbustin's class!! Until the next morning even!
Much like this government class yesterday. Totally didn't realize I'd forgotten til' I woke up at 8am and panicked cause I thought I had to be in class in an hour. Then realized it was YESTERDAY I was supposed to be in class.
Ugh.
NOTE TO SELF (which I've made before, but maybe I'll actually follow it this time): Put on calendar and set alerts for regular events when something different is happening that day.
Just put it on the calendar for next week. I wonder what other regular events I might be forgetting in the meantime.
Ugh.
I've realized I have a HUGE PROBLEM when my schedule changes. I FORGET EVERYTHING I REGULARLY HAVE TO DO. Seriously, I don't know how many "regular" things I do that I have just completely utterly dropped when my schedule changes in the slightest, i.e. doing Wednesday folders for Justinbustin's class when I stopped volunteering on Wednesdays and Shawners had a field trip that day. I remembered Shawner's Wednesday folders, I even helped the Mom delivering spirit gear that morning. Just completely forgot Justinbustin's class!! Until the next morning even!
Much like this government class yesterday. Totally didn't realize I'd forgotten til' I woke up at 8am and panicked cause I thought I had to be in class in an hour. Then realized it was YESTERDAY I was supposed to be in class.
Ugh.
NOTE TO SELF (which I've made before, but maybe I'll actually follow it this time): Put on calendar and set alerts for regular events when something different is happening that day.
Just put it on the calendar for next week. I wonder what other regular events I might be forgetting in the meantime.
Ugh.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Overwhelmed with Love
And the possibilities of what life is. We just have to grab a hold of it.
People I'm excited for:
Goldilocks with her newfound love. She relishes every moment and my heart smiles a HUGE smile everytime I read her posts about the sweet things they do for each other and the moments they spend together.
Alyssa's business has taken OFF. She is going to Newport to shoot a wedding and making it into a family vacation (thanks, Brando's facebook, for the update). I love how she loves life and makes it happen despite having to be responsible for a family. Five kids, gorgeous photos, gorgeous home, gorgeous clothes for all her sweet kiddos. It's a lot just to keep up in theory, and she does it in reality.
I'm doing a speech on creating your own luck and people that do. These two seem to be the essence of this, and I love it.
People I'm excited for:
Goldilocks with her newfound love. She relishes every moment and my heart smiles a HUGE smile everytime I read her posts about the sweet things they do for each other and the moments they spend together.
Alyssa's business has taken OFF. She is going to Newport to shoot a wedding and making it into a family vacation (thanks, Brando's facebook, for the update). I love how she loves life and makes it happen despite having to be responsible for a family. Five kids, gorgeous photos, gorgeous home, gorgeous clothes for all her sweet kiddos. It's a lot just to keep up in theory, and she does it in reality.
I'm doing a speech on creating your own luck and people that do. These two seem to be the essence of this, and I love it.
Lovin' Today
*Taking Kr*spy Kr*me doughnuts to Shawner's school for his birthday
*Appointment with a specialist to hopefully find out what's wrong with my arms
*Ordered a book by Susan Pohlman on Amazon that sounds like an Eat, Pray, Love with family
*Coffee with my bestie
*Random texts this week from my childhood bestie reminding me what an amazing mother, wife, and friend I am and to listen to my heart, smile, enjoy, and just be who I am.
*Amazing sex with Brando. Love simultaneous org*sms.
*My favorite holiday coming up - Thanksgiving!
*My parents coming into town. Nervous for them to fly but so glad they'll be here!
*Justinbustin having a movie night with his guy friends from school - so growed up.
*My MIL in Cancun - she deserves it!
*Being told by my counselor that Brando and I look even younger than the last time he saw us in July. And I didn't even tell him I've been having issues with that. Heart him.
*Appointment with a specialist to hopefully find out what's wrong with my arms
*Ordered a book by Susan Pohlman on Amazon that sounds like an Eat, Pray, Love with family
*Coffee with my bestie
*Random texts this week from my childhood bestie reminding me what an amazing mother, wife, and friend I am and to listen to my heart, smile, enjoy, and just be who I am.
*Amazing sex with Brando. Love simultaneous org*sms.
*My favorite holiday coming up - Thanksgiving!
*My parents coming into town. Nervous for them to fly but so glad they'll be here!
*Justinbustin having a movie night with his guy friends from school - so growed up.
*My MIL in Cancun - she deserves it!
*Being told by my counselor that Brando and I look even younger than the last time he saw us in July. And I didn't even tell him I've been having issues with that. Heart him.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
More Best Friendly Advice
On getting older, and feeling confident about myself...
Do what YOU want. Don't care what others think. Wear makeup or not, wear the clothes you want. Do what YOU want, not what others think. Listen to the friends who will be honest with you and won't tell you something looks good when they really don't think it does.
Her examples?
She wants me to come to Cali longer and said, "I think you should come to Cali and stay longer because I want to see you." As I reply, "That's why I can't decide if I want to stay longer or not," she goes, "See? It doesn't matter what I want, it's what YOU want. You need to do what YOU want to do, not what I want you to do."
Her other example? She's wearing a white dress today. She doesn't care that you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, it's hotter than it's been all summer in Cali, and darn it all if she isn't wearing a white dress because she wants to.
I swear that girl gives the BEST pep talks - not even really pep talks - LIFE talks. I can mention a problem to her and she will go on for an hour about how I need to do what's best for me, and she will line it out exactly as I need to hear it.
She's my sister from another mother. She's in our family photos, her kids call me aunt, my kids call her aunt. I am so incredibly grateful to have her in my life.
Do what YOU want. Don't care what others think. Wear makeup or not, wear the clothes you want. Do what YOU want, not what others think. Listen to the friends who will be honest with you and won't tell you something looks good when they really don't think it does.
Her examples?
She wants me to come to Cali longer and said, "I think you should come to Cali and stay longer because I want to see you." As I reply, "That's why I can't decide if I want to stay longer or not," she goes, "See? It doesn't matter what I want, it's what YOU want. You need to do what YOU want to do, not what I want you to do."
Her other example? She's wearing a white dress today. She doesn't care that you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, it's hotter than it's been all summer in Cali, and darn it all if she isn't wearing a white dress because she wants to.
I swear that girl gives the BEST pep talks - not even really pep talks - LIFE talks. I can mention a problem to her and she will go on for an hour about how I need to do what's best for me, and she will line it out exactly as I need to hear it.
She's my sister from another mother. She's in our family photos, her kids call me aunt, my kids call her aunt. I am so incredibly grateful to have her in my life.
Speaking of Photos
Photos are incredible. They tell a story. They track who we are, what we look like, our style, our interests, our personalities.
Looking back on photos from when the boys were toddlers I see things in myself (excuse the shallowness of my posts lately, I see it as a part of accepting and maybe, just maybe, hopefully, embracing my age right now) that I thought were new. Things that had been there all along - freckles, wrinkles, indentations in my face, muscle lines. Who knows maybe I had come to accept a photoshopped version of myself from Brando's gorgeous edited photos - an image I would back up with the few unedited photos of myself that would look just like the edited ones, but in reality those weren't the norm. It's so fun looking back on pure, unedited photos that show me as exactly who I am in all my young mom, young dorky unstylish 20s, acne prone, unmakeup wearing, running around two little boys. Not that impressive, let me tell you. But I didn't let that stop me then. Heck, I wasn't even AWARE of it. So why I should let it stop me now? Especially because I AM aware of it and realize it's not true. I do have style, I do wear makeup when I want to and am fine not wearing it when I don't want to, my skin is clearer, and I've matured to look like a woman, not like a little girl.
Looking back on photos from when the boys were toddlers I see things in myself (excuse the shallowness of my posts lately, I see it as a part of accepting and maybe, just maybe, hopefully, embracing my age right now) that I thought were new. Things that had been there all along - freckles, wrinkles, indentations in my face, muscle lines. Who knows maybe I had come to accept a photoshopped version of myself from Brando's gorgeous edited photos - an image I would back up with the few unedited photos of myself that would look just like the edited ones, but in reality those weren't the norm. It's so fun looking back on pure, unedited photos that show me as exactly who I am in all my young mom, young dorky unstylish 20s, acne prone, unmakeup wearing, running around two little boys. Not that impressive, let me tell you. But I didn't let that stop me then. Heck, I wasn't even AWARE of it. So why I should let it stop me now? Especially because I AM aware of it and realize it's not true. I do have style, I do wear makeup when I want to and am fine not wearing it when I don't want to, my skin is clearer, and I've matured to look like a woman, not like a little girl.
God, I love her (to quote Goldilocks :)
"Have goals for your 30s" - advice for turning 30 from my best friend I've known since elementary school.
After an hour long conversation where she told me, "This is why I love talking to you. I need your confidence", and my reply back to her, "I need YOUR confidence. I am so unconfident right now. I am happy with my hubby and my kids, but I am having a hard time accepting aging. Right now, I'm looking back at pictures from when I met Brando and I am SO much hotter now, lol, so that makes me feel better, but I am having a hard time excepting aging and knowing I am older."
Her response was having goals. I love it. Along with knowing all the turmoil that our twenties were, which is true. At the same time I LOOOOOVED my last few years of my twenties - heck the last four years, but truly I loved that everything came together in the last two. Maybe even more so in the last six months. So. Maybe that's what I look forward to - things are getting better - out of that turmoil my twenties were. Yeah, there's still turmoil, but I'm better at handling it, and I keep getting better (e.g. the moving situation - I learned SOOO much from that).
Goals.
Can't wait to write them.
Scared and a little nervous - it seems so monumental writing for a decade I'm not quite yet. But can't wait.
After an hour long conversation where she told me, "This is why I love talking to you. I need your confidence", and my reply back to her, "I need YOUR confidence. I am so unconfident right now. I am happy with my hubby and my kids, but I am having a hard time accepting aging. Right now, I'm looking back at pictures from when I met Brando and I am SO much hotter now, lol, so that makes me feel better, but I am having a hard time excepting aging and knowing I am older."
Her response was having goals. I love it. Along with knowing all the turmoil that our twenties were, which is true. At the same time I LOOOOOVED my last few years of my twenties - heck the last four years, but truly I loved that everything came together in the last two. Maybe even more so in the last six months. So. Maybe that's what I look forward to - things are getting better - out of that turmoil my twenties were. Yeah, there's still turmoil, but I'm better at handling it, and I keep getting better (e.g. the moving situation - I learned SOOO much from that).
Goals.
Can't wait to write them.
Scared and a little nervous - it seems so monumental writing for a decade I'm not quite yet. But can't wait.
So so so content
This has been a strange year of many changes. Moving from house to apartment, renting out said house, losing our best couple friends but in the process learning how to have healthy arguments, our debt being paid off, finally getting on the same page with money & uniting on everything we do with it, falling out of love with social events, rediscovering my love of my husband, renewing our vows, contemplating where we go from here income wise, accepting aging & signs of it, no longer feeling like I can use my oft used phrase "we're so young", realizing money priorities are different for everyone at different times especially for windfalls - in the past mine have been clothing, travel, & going out at different times respectively - currently they may be trending towards making my home a retreat to come home to that is comfortable as well as aesthetically pleasing.
So. Lots of changes. I'm sure there's more to list, but that's off the top of my head.
So. Lots of changes. I'm sure there's more to list, but that's off the top of my head.
OH MY GOSH!!!!
BABY FEVER!!!
The two adorable little tow-headed, pig-tailed girls that just walked by who must've been about two or three just gave me the worst baby fever. I do want more, just not now. A friend of mine just had a baby at 39 though so I have a few more years. Or we've always wanted to adopt. Nothing is for sure but I would love to have another baby or two in our lives someday and many more grandchildren. What a change from the past few years on the former part!
The two adorable little tow-headed, pig-tailed girls that just walked by who must've been about two or three just gave me the worst baby fever. I do want more, just not now. A friend of mine just had a baby at 39 though so I have a few more years. Or we've always wanted to adopt. Nothing is for sure but I would love to have another baby or two in our lives someday and many more grandchildren. What a change from the past few years on the former part!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Mmm... Love...
Looooove having this blog. No pressure to post. No pressure to live up to other's expectations. I haven't even checked the stats on it but once or twice. I can just post whatever, whenever I want. Like a diary should be. This is my diary. The beautiful, the good, the bad, the ugly. My old blog has turned into my photo album which I also looooooove. But this is everything else, and I'm glad I have a place for that.
Monday, November 1, 2010
How much is genes? How much is nature?
How much is parents? How much is environment? How much is choice?
Where do my kids get their love of dancing from? It's not in my genes. It's in Shawner's genes, but Justinbustin is the first one on the dance floor. Is it because I love it now? Is it choice? Is it the environment that I love it now?
To know things you have to be taught, or have observed, or innately know and one day be confirmed. Kids who aren't taught or aren't given a chance to observe have less variety. I've always had that belief. About my kids. About myself. The thing is, I don't feel like my kids have had much more chance to observe, be taught, or experience more than I did. Yet they have SO much more variety than I did. How much of it is choice?
I am so grateful for that.
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