School and Vacation

So I realized while I stayed caught up, I did not get ahead. Coming back hit me with two exams and three papers. I am completely overwhelmed until next Wednesday so I will be back then!

No time to talk

Went to Hawaii and back. Had a blast. Hiked to some incredible views and snorkelled equally amazing spots. Wrote a paper and read art on the plane and straight back to school. Picked up the dogs yesterday and caught up on phone calls with friends. Hawaii totally didn't require the anxiety I had beforehand about leaving so hopefully next time I'll enjoy the anticipation more especially the "I'm going to Hawaii!!" part. Only I already did so I can enjoy that at least. I went to Hawaii!! Yay!! Third time evah. Whoo!

Cut Justinb's Hair today

Justinb has had long hair since way too long ago when Brando's Mom took him to get his haircut and let him have it long to look cool. Since then it's been in their face, they're constantly swishing it out of their faces, and it's been long and sweaty. I just discovered it was tangly, too, as I combed it out before I cut it. Justinb had a complete meltdown as I cut his bangs out of his eyes as I expected he would. Which is why I have avoided taking him to get a haircut or cutting it at home - to avoid the meltdown. I finally decided I would rather deal with the meltdown at home rather than at the salon and cut his bangs myself. After melting down he came back to me a few minutes later saying, "I look ridiculous." I agreed, and let him know that had he not cried and moved his head he would look less ridiculous, like his brother, whose bangs I also cut and could still sweep to the side. He came to me a few minutes later and asked me to cut the rest short and had a great attitude the whole time, saying it looked better (not better than the long hair, just better with the bangs I cut). So, is it weird I feel like I picked a battle with him and won? It was like taking control over his hair instead of letting looking cool be the priority put things in perspective for him.

Another Emotional Week

My emotions have been like a roller coaster lately. Up, down, all around, I never know where they are going. It's about time to start again I imagine.

Adding more pressure is our trip coming up. So excited, nervous, scared, stressed, not sure what to think. We talked about taking this trip back in January. But with my brain fried from the full time semester I didn't have the strength or energy to conjure up a new trip so when Brando suggested the place we went last year I wearily said yes and went forward with it.

Now as the trip is getting closer, crazy me thinks we are wasting our time going to a place we've already been. Yes, that's my irrational thinking. I'd rather be taking a road trip up and down California's coast, staying in a cabin in Lake Tahoe and skiing, or going to France to visit Brando's friends. But I did not have the energy to plan any of those, and so here we are going to a place we've already been.

On the bright side, thanks to my fabulous girlfriends who inspired me to experience the trip on a deeper level, rather than just a surface level of every single thing like we did last time, girlfriends that bring Prosecco, yogurt covered pretzels, and trail mix to help me pack, and a hubby that makes us brownies while said girlfriend and I are packing, I'm getting a little excited.

My mother-in-law also had some wise advice for me today. I wish it would soak in more, though. She said I create my own stress by getting overwhelmed about every little thing I have to do before we go. Which I do. For the record, the list this time around was buy makeup, get a haircut, have a facial (which is not happening), do my nails (already did), pack, give the boys haircuts (also not happening) and have the house clean. Unfortunately my mother always freaked out about having the house clean before leaving on a trip and I'm afraid I've inherited that trait.

Not to mention feeling like I have to have every. single. thing. in. order. before I go. This time having the dogs bathed, the overdue yard landscaped, the dryer fixed, and the house cleaned counts for having every single thing in order. Of which I only have the house cleaned. But, as my mother-in-law put it, having the house cleaned was my gift to myself. And I love feeling like I have nothing to do tonight after arriving home to a clean house.

Through all of this I am slowly getting more excited, yet more nervous at the same time.

My Life is Fabulous

*My husband f*cks me like a rock star.

*My children are polite and sweet as hell.

*We own our SECOND home. At TWENTY-EIGHT. Hell yeah.

*We are about to go on a trip to California.

*Even though I am unsure as hell about who I am right now, my husband reassures me, loves me, supports me, encourages me, and does everything he can to help me figure out who I am.

*I get afternoon hugs EVERY afternoon from a certain little ten year old man.

*My little man adores me and tells me I'm the best.

*I have two fabulous dogs that don't shit all over the house, they obey when they're told to come and go, sit and stay, they adore my children and us.

*My husband is all over taking trips with me, discovering new things, events, and places with me, supporting me in going to school.

Aw, how a good time in the sack helps put perspective on things. I needed that.

Literally In Between the Lines

Have gone through so many emotions this week and possibly even more events. Since my detox my PMS has been extra intense, my chest extra sore, and my periods have gotten closer. All that accumulates to I have no clue it's going on until five days into it and then I realize, "Oooooh, that's why I've been so grouchy. Oops." This week has been one of those weeks.

We're going on vacation next weekend and have it all paid for by credit. I have been super uneasy about it, so Monday I asked the girls at girls night for advice. Li's was, "You're going to be in debt forever any way, what's two more years to add to the twenty you'll already be paying it off." Construed logic, but still logic, especially when the payoff is a week of being together and the kids spending the week with their grandparents.

Tuesday was another girls night in a sense as it was a birthday dinner for one of the girls. All her friends were there as well, but the four of us sat together and it was a perfect night of laughing and talking.

Wednesday I went salsa dancing with Kels. I was wayyyy too tired and determined not to dance and touch ikky hands to stay well before my trip, but I had a blast chatting with her in between dances and yapping on facebook with Alyssa about my trip while she was dancing.

Thursday I met Kels and her baby girl for lunch and she gave me clooooothes!!! She's actually getting breast enhancement surgery (sounds so much more polite than "boob job") and gave me her shirts that won't fit anymore, plus a bunch of clothes to borrow for the trip.

Thursday night, despite wanting to go meet a friend, I said enoughs enough and stayed home to knock out homework, laundry, and hopefully keep up with the house so I don't feel overwhelmed when it comes time to pack and go.

All day Friday I did the same thing - skipped breakfast with a friend and studying afterwards to stay home, study, do laundry, upload pictures on facebook, and not spend money. Too bad the night got all screwy with Justinbustin's friend spending the night for his birthday (yay!) but WOW I was exhausted when all three kids were still up at 10pm and we were all having it's time for bed meltdowns.

This weekend I'm trying to do the same thing of staying home, but the kids have a P*newood D*rby to go to today, so I'll bring my books and a computer and study in between races. Later today I'll drag out the suitcases, and tomorrow iron the clothes I'm bringing.

Monday it's back to the grind with the school schedule, girls night (yay!), but then no more nights out for me until I get back. Looking forward to returning to my normal schedule already!! In the meantime, pretty sure being relaxed when we leave is worth all the preparation times.