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Learning to stay positive

Despite the 'changes' my sister and I talked about with our relationship, she still unloads all the negative about our family I never get to see so once again I'm left hearing only negative about our family and not being able to have my own perspective because I wasn't there. Granted I wasn't strong enough to tell her STOP TALKING I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR NEGATIVE PERSPECTIVE ON OUR FAMILY, so here I am again feeling yukky and disillusioned. Now to figure how to go about after the fact telling her I don't want to hear anymore. Tell me something GOOD not everything that you think is messed up or wrong about our family.

Just texted her - she responded 'Sorry...' - works for me - yay! :

"Okay I don't want to hear any more negative about our family. Sorry I didn't catch the conversation in time to stop you. Got off the phone and cant shake this yukky feeling and realized I forgot to say I only want to hear the good! Think of the good stories and tell me the good!! I'm sure that was a lot of work for Abe regardless of how many showed up. Plus Aunt Jan has valuable life history to share - maybe she shared some? And Aunt Katy loves spending time with people. Plus you were on the gorgeous coastline with your hubby who was able to take the days off work. Lots of good things going on there!! I'm sure there were uncomfortable situations but that's life so unless you're looking for a way you can change the situation to make the situation better next time I only want to hear the good so I actually look forward to seeing family the rare times I do get to see them. You're so fortunate you're close enough and actually do the work to take advantage of opportunities to see them! That in itself is a good story. Wanted to text so I didn't forget."

Just realized I didn't need to blog any of this since I dealt with the situation head on. Funny how negative aspects can drag you down into indecisiveness and  not confronting the situation. Glad I've had this almost six month break from constantly hearing negativity to gain some perspective on how enjoyable life is  without that negativity. Also I'm glad I heard a friend say just recently that she feels like venting in the moment is emotional abuse. It's one thing to take a step back, try and figure out a situation, and go to trusted friends for advice, it's another to completely to dump all your emotions on someone in the moment so you can feel bette while you've transferred all your negative energy elsewhere, hence the emotional abuse, and at the same time done nothing to better your situation. Since I've stopped venting in the moment, I have been able to confront difficulties head on so much quicker and reasonably than when I felt like I had to stew and vent before I dealt with the situation and did what needed to be done. Granted there are still situations in my life I am choosing to stew and vent over and have chosen to do so instead of deal with the situation head on. Those are the only areas of my life where I feel like I haven't done the right thing and where I still have that yukky feeling almost like a weight I'm lugging around.