Blah. Felt better yesterday and today then went shopping with b and j and came home feeling miserable. Now I'm not talking to try to avoid the hacking cough.

My birthday

My honey took me on a hill country vineyard tour - my request.

So grossed out right now

Discovered lice on Shawners yesterday. Been bagging and washing bedding, stuffed animals, clothes, and pillows since. Am SO exhausted. This is the THIRD time one or both of the boys have had lice. What the hell?! Myself and every other person it seems only experienced it once in their childhood. I feel like a failure. The first time was from school, understandably, the second Justinbustin got it from a youth group sleepover where five other boys had it, also understandably. I think what gets me this time is I have NO IDEA where it came from. I've been racking my brain. M's little girl had it a few weeks ago which is the only place I can figure it came from via me who's been over there several times. He's been watching their dog the past two days (another vent that I'll just have to copy and paste from texts to KT - EVERY time I watch their darn dog something stupid and crazy happens), too, so my mind instantly jumps to that. BUT he's been scratching for a few weeks. I've been checking his head and have seen nothing. Even yesterday I checked his head and saw nothing. I decided to take a comb to his hair because I had thought he was allergic to his shampoo but he was still itching after we switched it. Out came a ton of nits and lice. SO DISGUSTING. I had a crying meltdown on the phone with my mil today because I feel like a total failure. We've gotten rid of it so easily before that Shawners doesn't even realize the impact of it. I've had to explain to him it's best if we buzz his hair so we don't miss any nits, that he needs to assist in bagging everything up, and when friends spend the night they HAVE to use a separate blanket and pillow so they can be washed afterwards. They've been especially bad about friends using whatever blankets or pillows they want and then throwing them back into the mix. That's the only other place I can think of that it might've come from - a friend spending the night who didn't know they had it. I'm so grossed out and feel like a failure right now. And so exhausted from all the washing and bagging.

Decluttering comment turned post

My husband has taken the initiative to completely declutter our house with me room by room. I am so grateful for the gusto he has to get it done and the company. I didn't realize how amazing it is that he has actually taken that initiative with no move in sight until I read Larissa's post. We've spent eight hours in our closet, eight hours in our boys' room, eight hours in our bedroom and office together, several hours in the bathrooms, eight hours in the garage. We have an aisle of donate items in our huge two car garage, and half an aisle of things to give to people we know or trade out at a store. Not to mention at least twenty to thirty trash bags we threw away of stuff. It really sounds like we lived in a pigsty, but really it wasn't THAT bad. It was just years of accumulated, organized junk. Insane. I feel SO much lighter and able to do 'extra' things instead of being weighed down by everything that has no place here.

Text vent/thought processing to my bestie

Maybe I should've made it an email:

One of the problems with going out as couples is I feel left out when we can't go. Not with you necessarily because I realize I'm always welcome but with others. I suppose I worked that feeling out with hanging out with girlfriends on my own because there's just plenty of times it's not reasonable for me to go. I suppose I can work out those feelings with couples too. I suppose I have to now. It's easier just not going out at all tho lol. [she texted back and said she was confused why I'd feel left out when I can't go]. Since 90% of the time we can't go. For example, tomorrow would be a BLAST especially if Brandon's on board which he seems to be lately BUT we have to make sure things are fun not just for us but for the boysies so that counts us out. So if we're hanging out with couples more but can't go to 90% of the shindigs = feel left out. Make sense? Actually it makes no sense but it's how I feel :) and something I'm struggling with/working thru as we possibly enter a new phase of hanging out with couples more so than we did before any way :D
Another example - liana invited us to something tonight she's invited us to before as a couple and me many times but I/we don't ever go cuz it doesn't start til 10pm and they don't leave til 9pm. We don't have the luxury of sleeping in even on a day off especially on a holiday so that mostly counts us out. I think I've figured out I need to do stuff that are fun and DOES fit our schedule as couples and then invite others along as I did when I started hanging out more with girlfriends, but still working on it obvs :):) . Even drinking bbqs or pool days on the weekend or holidays count us out because we won't take the boys and we won't leave them home all day alone by themselves. We're fine leaving them at night for a little whole but at home during the day during the weekend is sad unless it's for a much needed date for brandon and I!!! Especially to go party hehe. Sorry you're getting the brunt of my thought process - just thinking out loud to mah Kati especially since i don't know if we're going to see each other again this week!!! Ahhhhh!!!
Yeah see? Just checked the LC rocks at Carlos n Charlie's and they start at 10:30 [she'd invited us there tomorrow night]. This is going to make me sound really old but I think we need to find parent couples to hang with. Or just stick with doing our own thing and inviting couples once a week and be okay not going out every other night. Sigh :/ . See my inner confliction? Oy well I'm going to curl up with Brando and our candy in bed with a movie and love my night because I won't be one half of an exhausted couple trying to parent tomorrow hehe :):):)
Also I'm pmsing hard. The ob gyn warned this would be a heavy period but i didnt equate it with pms. And my sister is out of town for fourth of july for the first time ever and we usually spend it with her so I'm a little lost.

And to add more:
When I go out with out Brando I can stay out later because at least one of us is not exhausted. When Brando goes out with me if we both stay out later we're both screwed hence the confliction of staying out late.

Her response, why she's my bestie :) :
(2/6) makes total sense as to why you guys can't go out late! You have an amazing family, and the way you guys do you works for you and your family! No worries [followed with mention of her and her man having to do things with us at earlier hours and several invites to things we didn't end up going to but she realizes I love the thought any way - love her]

Man I am PMSing HARD

Chocolate, confused, mood swings, the whole bit. The ob gyn warned this might be a heavy period but I didn't equate that to PMS. I've eaten more chocolate in the last three days than I have in the entire year (which isn't saying a lot cuz I really haven't had any straight up chocolate for a long time since I consciously started eating less).

Pretty New Day Lily

Fun surprise to wake up to this morning after we saw the bud getting ready to open yesterday. And an updated photo of my pretty garden - you can see the bud getting ready to open at the top left. Love coming home to the pretty foliage every day!