New Perspective

Last night I texted my sister, "I hate my life. I am so depressed." after a margarita at Chipotle. Not LIKE ME. I'm usually the happy drunk.

Last night I came across this picture. I've seen it before in the sense of being a picture that inspired a girl to become a photographer. Today, it inspired me to be a better person.

This morning I woke up to my boys breaking down the fort they had built to completely cover their room two months ago and have been sleeping in since. Except for the one time Brando and I got into a fight over them breaking it down or not. Brando wanted it broke down for school to start - I wanted it to stay. I loved that 3/4 of their room couldn't be messed up because it was covered in blankets and their little "cubby holes". I loved that they could leave their bedroom door open and have it still be quiet because they were tucked away talking or playing games inside their fort - and not wrestling and throwing things like they normally do. Oh, life with boys, I love it.

I told them something they hate to hear, but I tell them any way because my sister told her three boys and they are the sweetest brothers I have ever met. "Blessed are brethren that dwell together in unity, and you are dwelling together in unity." In the midst of me telling them against their cries of, "Mo-om, we know, we know." I say, "I just want you to know I am blessed and you are blessed." Shawners retorts, "My Mom is blessed." I reply, "Thank God!! I am so happy for that!" and he retorts, "My ancestors are blessed!" to which I also reply, "Wow, that's awesome. Thank God! I am really happy for that!" That child. I want to pinch his cheeks from cuteness sometimes.

On the way to drop Shawners off at school Justinbustin went with me so I could drop him off early so he could clean and practice his trombone before his lesson today. Justinbustin starts talking about how he wants to move Shawner's dresser out of his "room" and put a hammock in there. Shawners immediately starts an outcry, "Justinbustin always gets the BEST stuff." To which I replied with a very proud mommy moment - one that made me feel like a parent.

I got on my wise parent soapbox and told him, "You know, I used to feel that way about my sister. That was part of the reason I moved away from California 'cause I couldn't figure out how to get out from under that. Then I moved here and I got a house, we had you guys, we had a garden, we had a dog and my sister would say, 'Your life is so perfect, I wish I had that.' Then we moved to California for a year and came back to Texas and we moved to our apartment and all of a sudden she had a house, and a garden, and the dogs and I wanted what she had. But you know what? I'm happy for her. I'm happy she has what she has because I trust that the Lord has good things in store for us - maybe that, or maybe something else. He has good things in store for us right now - Dad and I still being together, amazing schools both of you boys are blessed to go too, the same view that the million dollar houses across the canyon have. Over time, I've realized I can't live my life being upset over not having what she has or vice versa, I can only be happy for her and be happy for myself when those things come and with the amazing blessings I do have."

He was quiet afterwards, so I am hoping that it sunk in a little. This is a true heartfelt struggle for me, and part of the reason for my text last night to my sister. I was looking outward, instead of looking inward and upward.

This morning before that conversation, as I sat on my porch drinking my coffee my husband made for me this morning after I simply asked him last night, and watched the colors of the sky change as the sun rose, I read this verse, "I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation." Ps13:5, I realized I have trusted in your mercy - when I got pregnant with Justinbustin, when I married Brando, and my heart has rejoiced in your merciful salvation each of those times, and my heart will trust in your salvation now and I will trust in your mercy now because it will come, and it has come in ways I haven't noticed, just as it did then. He is an amazing God, powerful beyond our belief of a mustard seed, and all I need to do is have that faith of a mustard seed.

What a day

I discovered I *am* superwoman, after being so adamant that I didn't want to be :) .

SO much happened today, only a bullet list will do it justice:

*Had an appointment with a chiropractor this morning for my back and was scared sh*tless - last time I had a chiropractor crack my back I was in MISERY until I went to the doctor and had muscle relaxants and pain killers. This time I went the opposite route and have still been in misery. I finally realized the chiropractor more than likely DID help last time - but my muscles were adjusting so they were sore until my back healed. I've got to do a whole post on this guy over on PSD, but, in short, he was amazing. Found out some interesting things and he cracked EVERYthing. I was still nervous as heck and he told me to take 4 advil, which I haven't yet because I had to drop Justinbustin off to go camping later and didn't want to be loopy, which leads me to...

*Stopped by Costco to see about getting some kind of liquid I will actually drink on a regular basis since I told the doc that I drink three diuretics (tea, coffee, wine) and water - and I only guzzle it then, all of which is apparently giving me muscle spasms like crazy, since yeah, my muscles don't actually have the water they're made of. Hmm.

*Ate lunch at Costco

*Washed my car

*Picked the boys up from school

*Brought the boys home, set Justinbustin to packing

*Groomed the dog - and by groomed I mean, bathe, haircut with the buzzers, nail trim, and eyes cleaned

*Cleaned up above mess

*Drove in an hour and a half of traffic to drop Justinbustin off

*Drove away and got a flat about three miles away

*Started in on putting on the spare myself since I couldn't get a hold of Brando and my bro-in-law was being grumpy and I told him don't worry about helping if he was so grumpy

*So relieved when my bro-in-law called and apologized for being a "selfish jerk" (his words) and asked if he could please come up help SHawners and I

*Learned how to put on a spare tire, thanks to him teaching us when he got there

*Appreciated the help of the guy whose driveway we pulled into when he came out (doh! totally didn't think of knocking on the door - but who knows it could've been totally strange people)

*Met Brando at Costco, got new tires on the car and two new storage ottomans/gorgeous coffee tables for a STEAL

*Grocery shopped at Costco while we were at it

*Came home, set up the coffee tables and moved the old coffee table to the garage

*And I'm STILL going - usually ANYthing I j did besides sit at the computer or be driven around by Brando knocked me exhausted and miserable onto my bed - I'm so glad I decided to go ahead and have the chiropractor adjust me today. I met with him yesterday and had the x-rays today and was wary about being adjusted, but after reseeing my old chiropractor experience in that new light, I decided to go ahead and get it done asap. He also has a physical therapy setup in his office so I did some physical therapy afterwards. I'm not completely ache free, but I am definitely not miserable and still completely functional. Oh, and the chiro doc said I could do swimming, biking, hiking, walking - low impact activities, just no weights. Fine by me - I don't do weights any way (unless you count the weights of what it takes to maintain a household of four).

*Side note on the x-rays - my booty CRACK showed up on the low back x-ray. Wha-what?! Are you serious?! SO embarrassing, lol, but I got over it after jokingly putting my hand over it after I asked him, "Is that my booty ?" He said he doesn't even see it anymore - sure@ Embarrassing note aside, I totally didn't think skin showed up on x-ray!

I apologize for any typos. My contacts are blurring up and I can't see the screen! Off to bed and to take them out!

I'm Officially an Honor Student

I just completed my first honors class AND my first public speaking.

WHOO!!! *jumping around* *pattting self on back* *gleeful clap* go ME!!

Sooooooo freaking proud of myself. I almost dropped the class twice. Not for the honors aspect, but the public speaking aspect. Terrifies me so much so that I feared more than once I would fall over from shaking. Once I did lock my knees. That was not good.

But I got through it. I accomplished my goal of becoming confident to the point where I could give a speech if somebody asked me to. Now, hopefully, no one asks me, but if they did, I could do it and would kick it's ass.

Some things I learned about me as a speaker:

-I love to give lots of information...

Oh, what the heck, I'll just put up the final assignment by the public speaker so you can read for yourself:

1.) Discuss what you learned about yourself in the whole of the semester in
general.

This semester I learned that stressing over school is not worth the physical toll it takes on me, and that it's okay to take a break if need be with as much as is on my plate.

2.) Discuss what you learned about yourself in this class.

In this class I learned I like to be very factual and informational. I learned I would rather be quiet than speak on something I have not yet researched.

3.) Discuss what you discovered/learned from other people in this class.

In this class I learned from other people that each person has their own speaking style, and that each style is wonderful and unique to that person and the message they have to deliver.

4.) What do you honestly think you made in this course, in other words what
would you give yourself as a grade if you could grade your self-be
realistic! Base your answer on how hard you tried/what you put into it,
grades you have made, participation, attendance-have you missed a lot & why,
improvements as the course went along in your skills, et. Anything else your
grade should be based on?

I would give myself an A+ in this class based on the immense effort I have put into creating speeches that contain as much information as I can fit into it, the grades I have made (all A's, except for one B+), near perfect attendance, and the improvement in my speaking confidence, lessening of nerves, and belief in myself that I could actually give a speech if called upon, none of which I would've thought possible before I began this class.

5.) Final Thoughts:

This has been a very interesting class to take. There were several times I considered dropping it as the sheer amount of stress the idea of speaking has put on me has not been pleasant. However, my goal in taking a speech class was to become more confident in my speaking ability and be able to have the confidence to actually be able to take advantage of other speaking opportunities in my life if need be. I feel like I have accomplished that goal, and would be willing and prepared to speak at other venues if the situation called for it, and be able to speak well.

Part II-
1.) Formulate a general question about communication at large. Just ask the question. In can be general or specific.

My question about communication at large is: how can communication become more effective in relaying the true meaning to others?

Formulate a general question about public speaking at large. Just ask the question. In can be general or specific, or relate to specific problem.
My question about public speaking at large is: what is the best way to communicate your subject to your audience through public speaking?

2.) Briefly discuss how you have grown as a speaker. Then list 3 things you feel you do well as a speaker.

I have grown as a speaker in confidence in both my speaking ability, speech writing, and selection and development of subject matter. As a speaker, I believe I relay information well, maintain eye contact with each member of the audience well, and deliver a conclusion that leaves an emotional impact.

3.) List at least three additional tips to giving a speech.

Three additional tips to giving a speech are: deliver your speech with enthusiasm, connect with your audience through purposeful eye contact, gestures, and body language, and say thank you and walk away from the podium when done with your speech.

4.) What is the most important element in the introduction?

The most important element in the introduction is the speaker's connection to the topic.

And the professor's email response:
"Thanks for being such an amazing student. And thanks for, I think, finally believing me that you ARE, in fact, a really good speaker! I am SO VERY glad that you did not drop. I would have been crushed. Seriously."

Go Me

Pretty proud of myself for writing this letter to Brando angry yet being totally constructive. Prior to this I had sent him another email detailing the events of my day (see post below). The all caps in the very beginning is because I had just spoke with him on the phone and we had gotten angry with each other and hung up.

Subject: What I want

AS I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU ON THE PHONE, I want to help us eat healthier. I want to pack the boys' lunches every week. I want to shop and cook for four good sized meals each Tuesday night. I want to decorate our home to have something I feel is worth keeping pretty every day. I WANT TO DO THESE THINGS. But I don't feel like I can do them with you. When I focus even a little on those things you act like I am doing something for the first time in my life and I DESPISE that feeling. That feeling makes my skin crawl. When I have that to look forward to instead of your support, help in other areas, ideas, guidance, and appreciation, it makes it an almost insurmountable goal.

With not doing school this next semester, I would like to focus on these things more. However, I REFUSE TO DO SO if all I am going to get (besides eating healthy and having a pretty house) is complaints about 1) how much I am spending, 2) how much I didn't do before, and 3) how perfect I am now that I am doing these things.

You have DIFFERENT FOCUSES AND GOALS THAN ME. It is important to you to make money, be the breadwinner, have a hobby that you can invest in be it photography, organizing our budget, watching specific tv shows, or leading cub scouts. It is important to me to continually grow, raise the boys in the way that they should go, support you, feed the boys healthy and teach them to eat healthy through doing so, enjoy life and new experiences with you, the boys, and myself. THESE are my goals. NOT making the house pretty. Your goal is NOT to make as much money as you can, and if I were to put that pressure on you and ONLY appreciate you when you did so, that would be unfair of me. You are putting pressure on me to ONLY make the house pretty, and that is unfair of YOU.

You're right, we are not other couples. We are US. And it is time for us to ACCEPT that, own business, beautiful house, high income, house perfect every day, or no. It is time for us to appreciate us for who we ARE and work TOGETHER towards what we WANT to be, not AGAINST each other. It is time for us to stop holding the past against each other. You are the man I met TODAY, the one that I blogged about who is amazing with kids and adorable sitting at a table playing games with them in order to stay connected to his kids' lives and be there for his son at his youngest son's request, the man who requested to be in another classroom contrary to his schedule just so he could be with his older son who didn't express the desire for him to be but who he cares enough about to be there anyway, the man who came home and immediately cleaned out the garage's stinky poop in an amazingly quick manner, the man who immediately figures out how to run errands, make sure our mortgage is paid, and does them with amazing initiative. I am the woman you met TODAY, the one who packed lunches for 45 minutes, studied for an exam that she had amazing notes whilst doing previously emailed list, took said exam, kicked it's booty amazingly, treated her arm condition holistically, said hi to a friend she hasn't seen in months for five minutes because she is an awesome amazing friend who would go thirty minutes out of the way to be there just to give a hug to someone she cares about, went to the boys school to do a weekly event of Wednesday folders and talk to the teachers to stay involved and connected in our boys' lives outside of our home, and came home to do the list I just emailed you on top of writing these two emails, and researching what a reasonable monthly budget amount might be. I am THAT woman, and you are THAT man.

It is time for us to accept and expect who we are NOW. Because we are pretty awesome. And we could do so much TOGETHER.

*end of email*

His response? You're amazing.

Lovin' Today

*Taking Kr*spy Kr*me doughnuts to Shawner's school for his birthday

*Appointment with a specialist to hopefully find out what's wrong with my arms

*Ordered a book by Susan Pohlman on Amazon that sounds like an Eat, Pray, Love with family

*Coffee with my bestie

*Random texts this week from my childhood bestie reminding me what an amazing mother, wife, and friend I am and to listen to my heart, smile, enjoy, and just be who I am.

*Amazing sex with Brando. Love simultaneous org*sms.

*My favorite holiday coming up - Thanksgiving!

*My parents coming into town. Nervous for them to fly but so glad they'll be here!

*Justinbustin having a movie night with his guy friends from school - so growed up.

*My MIL in Cancun - she deserves it!

*Being told by my counselor that Brando and I look even younger than the last time he saw us in July. And I didn't even tell him I've been having issues with that. Heart him.

Randomness

*Decluttered the living room yesterday and LOOOVE the lightness of weight I feel walking into it (our living room also happens to be our office, entry way, and is attached to the kitchen and hallway of the boys room which can become slightly overwhelming)

*Favorite station on Pandora lately: All the Right Moves. It plays favorites like Secrets by OneRepublic and the Scientist by Coldplay.

*I used to wrap myself up in the literal meaning of words, how they were written, grammatical errors, and choice of grammar. I used to be a perfectionist about my own. For some reason, the more I read, the more I learn, the more I see, those things mean less and less. They're still important, but they don't relate as much to me about a person now as their style, their personality, and what they are actually saying, regardless of how it is written, does.

*Obsessed with this post, and the Nicole Kidman like effect, as well as the effortless fun in front of the camera. Makes me want to go do another photo shoot. SO much fun!

Fun

Liking:

*Volunteering at a low-cost veterinarian clinic with KT and getting woozy (read: high) off the fine dust of dewormer, and not figuring it out until after I'd licked my shirt trying to get the taste off my mouth and stop my tongue from going numb. Yup, licked my shirt. It was hilarious with our non-stop giggling and off the wall comments: "My tongue is numb." "I have no thought processes." "I can't feel my legs." "Do you want to eat at Chipotle?" with a blank look and a "Suuuurrre." from KT in response.

*Seeing someone while I'm volunteering who was shocked that I'm 29 and being told she would've put me between 18-21

*Justinbustin and his two buddies developing a school newspaper with the support of their teachers and including all types of different sections, and recruiting. This deserves it's own post.

*Not wearing makeup for two weeks and feeling confident enough that I'll even go on dates with makeup. On top of that, getting comments like the above while not wearing makeup, and also, from Li, a shocked, "You're NOT wearing makeup?! Your skin is all one tone."

*How friendly the carpool line is at the boys' school.

*My motivation to clean, clean, clean and do, do, do after volunteering this week.

*Shawners doing his meerkat presentation at school yesterday.

*Girls night with KT and Ande for the first time this week with Jamaican Chicken with Mango Salsa and Brittney Spears' Glee

*Of course girls night with M, Li, and Ambs - and K & Herbie too!

*Discovering the magic that is Zilker park with a skyline view in the fall

Not liking:

*Still struggling with accepting aging. Fb photos do NOT help since I can see the difference from three years ago to today. I want to delete them so I'm not tempted to look at them, but they're my scrapbook, so I'm not sure how to delete them without taking them away. I have figured out it is studying that has worsened the texture of my forehead and line between my eyes. Yes, I'm a research fanatic (okay, freak), and yes, I have been researching my own photos. It got really bad in February - right after the start of my second semester. It lightened up in summer with no school. And it started to get bad again as I started school this semester. I have figured out I squint while reading. I read a lot - I figured 48 hours for one textbook, and I've lost count of how many I've read the last two semesters - at least three or four. That's a LOT of squinting. My poor face. So I am working on not squinting while I study. I also got Frownies to wear at night which seem to be helping. Not sure if they can reverse the damage though, and I wake up an hour before I get up to take them off lest the boys think I'm crazy. I'm fully aware I am - okay, maybe, not FULLY aware, otherwise I wouldn't be doing it at all.

*My lack of taking pictures lately. Brando got me a new (pink) camera, since my other one went to the shop and will cost more to repair than replace. This one is a Nikon, which I thought I would like, however I am NOT liking the quality of the sharpness. The pictures come out so grainy! I am looking forward to returning it and going back to Canon, crappy as it is that it burnt out (almost, literally) on my after just a year.

*Having the boys in school at a chemical plant. Still. Shawners has had weird things going on since, and I'm trying to stay unparanoid and attribute it to allergies which are REALLY bad this season for everybody, but he's never had things like this before - headaches, neck aches, leg aches. It's just weird. I would pull him out right NOW if it weren't for his teacher being so fabulous, and how well he is doing.

180

My life has taken a 180 since last week. Last week, Shawners had headaches since school started, I had no job, I did not volunteer, and I was considering going to work full time and dropping out of the semester in order to do so.

This week, Shawners' headaches have been subdued with homeopathic allergen drops for mold allergies, I am working 10 hours a week at hopefully $20/hour at a job that works with my current schedule, and I am training to volunteer at a low-cost veterinarian clinic that serves the community by offering low-cost services and even free services to the homeless.

Also, I realized when Brando and I both realized separately one day last week that it might be better for me to work and not do school for awhile (mostly so we can work towards replacing our cars that need replaced), I had intended to drop school this semester to do it. I found out Brando had meant for me to finish the semester and work next semester. It's nice to have his support for me to keep going, even though I have little to no desire to do right now.

Life is Like a Bowl of Cherries

Before the summer swings completely by, I wanted to document some of the things I really loved about this summer. The highlight of the summer was all the outdoor activities I did. From hiking, to paddle boarding, to kayaking, to sailboating, to natural springs, to biking, it definitely was a summer for outdoorsieness and I loved every second of it.

Another huge event this summer was Justinbustin's volunteerism and camps. He volunteered for the A*stin D*saster Reli*f Netw*rk, psychological crisis response training, vacation bible school, the children's ministry, in addition to going on two of his first week long camps - one with boy sc*uts which was seven hours away, the other with his youth group which was two hours away. He also went on his first tubing trip, and all by himself, too. Fifty middle-schoolers and three adults.

Shawners got two new pets this summer - I forget their names, but they are two newts. His collection is up to five now. He really wishes he had a different small dog, though, because Star Bear is a bit of an old lady, and is very submissive as she is a rescue dog which means she turns on her tummy anytime she doesn't want to do something. Submissive, or really smart, I guess - how can you get mad when she's on her tummy? It makes me kind of sad, but at the same time, she broke us in to having a small dog, so I could totally see getting another one. He has also revived his garden after it nearly died on our deck that gets full afternoon sunshine. We have moved it in front of the garage, and with healthy watering, it instantly revived into full bloom flowers and greenery. He has morning glory, a flowering plant that I'm not sure the name of, parsley, strawberries, a ground covering fern, and two new ones he planted that I have no idea of what they are yet. The parsley and the morning glory have been around for a few years now, which is exciting.

Brando continued his photography business over the summer as official photographer for the boy sc*ut troop, and did a few family and pregnancy shoots on the side. His b*nk got r*bbed this summer while he was there, and we spent an intimate night with his coworkers partying and celebrating life, especially as the r*bber sh*t himself afterwards. This was the first time Brando partied on S*xth Street and we had a blast. We went to Hula Hut, Shakespeare's, Rebel's, and Beso Cantina.

This summer I really have started to notice that I'm aging. The whole nearing 30 stage has really hit me and I'm struggling with acceptance. My hugest issue is my forehead. I feel like there is a dent from the hairline to the middle of my eyebrows that I hadn't ever noticed before. Part of me blames school and the stress it has brought, but part of me hopes school really isn't making me age worse. I've been obsessive about it.

Ten things I loved about this summer

*Kayaking with Li, KT, A, and Justinbustin

*Paddle boarding with Li and A

*Finally going to the Blue Hole in Wimberley with the family

*Renewing my vows in Cali

*Taking a road trip to Orange County with Brando

*Watching Justinbustin turn into a little man via volunteering

*Sailboating in the Monterey Bay

*Watching Shawners put on scuba gear and attempt to scuba at the M*nterey Bay Aquarium

*Having both of the boys surf and getting on their boards, then actually being able to watch Justinbustin

*My fantastic birthday which included boating and ATVing.

Today

So many fantastic things happened today. I definitely want to remember them:

*Gave my first speech of my Public Speaking speech class and was shaking like a leaf. However, two of my peers came up to me after class and thanked me for what I said on love. Loved that!

*Met up with KT to get both her's and my car washed. Too fun!

*When I picked up the boys from school today the lady who says the kids name in the pick up lane already knew their name and then said it was the first one of the year she memorized. I cheered for her :) (and the fact that we were the first name she memorized).

*Justinbustin's teacher is the one who walks the boys to the car and she told me today through the car window that she read some of Justinbustin's writing today and then put her hand over her heart and made a "oh that's precious" face. At first, I didn't understand, then I said, "Yeah, his writing can be touching." Justinbustin later said it was because of the scrolly fancy way he writes his letters, but I don't think she would put her hand over her heart for that.

*Shawners gets in the cars and says, "You look sexy." when I'm in jeans and a tank top. He's a little mini-Brando.

*Received my financial aid check for school in the mail today.

*Received our vow renewal pictures in the mail today!

*Ice Cream S*cial for b*y sc*uts tonight

I love...

*going boating, ATVing, to Blue Hole, paddle boarding, Sculpture Falls, to Cheesecake Factory, to see Eclipse, and to Mandola's Italian Market for and around my birthday

*my fun birthday gifts from girlfriends who know me so well - three dresses which I've been dying for cute, fun dresses this summer, lots of perfectly me jewelry with big earrings, long necklaces, and gold hoops which I've so needed, chocolate, and a bathing suit

*my birthday gifts from my sons of chocolate, flowers, and a Hoops & YoYo stuffed creature with stuffed letter blocks that spell out N-I-C-E attached to it that says, "You're so nice. In the dictionary under nice, there's a picture of you! Isn't that great?"

*my birthday gift from my hubby of a massage which I can't wait to take him up on and enjoy a nice, long romantic dinner at the Driskill afterwards

*my oldest son going off to camp for a week and coming home with only a black eye and no broken bones

*my oldest calling me after hospital visit for said incident and interrupting his spiel about camp to ask me, "Mom, can we get a ranch with lots of horses? Or at least four, one for each of us."

*my youngest spending two days and nights with his Auntie Wyn and having her text me what a good job I'm doing with him, and how encouraging he is and how he must've gotten that from somewhere. And hearing his voicemail talking about how he's letting me know he's spending another night and he's sweeping the shop and earning coins from different countries and he loves me and he hopes daddy has a good day doing work stuff

*going to women's leadership meetings and sitting back and absorbing the impact of amazing women who seek to make a difference and who have already made who knows how much difference in countless lives

*being able to celebrate Goldilocks' 30th with her

*seeing good friends and being able to see their faces for a few hours

*good friends to have brunch and coffee with

*taking Shawners to pottery class

*having summer home with my boys

*watching my oldest volunteer with toddlers at church

*my amazing, sexy hubby who brings me chocolate, tells me how beautiful I am, and loves going on dates with me because it makes me feel loved and happy

*girls night with amazing dinners and even better company

*the comfort level of talking to my sister by being on the phone with her while we both go about our business - mine of reading blogs, and hers of organizing the garage

*showers in the afternoon

*thunderstorms while getting ready for the evening

Wow. Amazing. Mind Blowing.

*The boys and I have volunteered the last week for a disaster relief training. It has been a gamut of intensely useful information, eye opening experiences, and awe in the capabilities of my children.

*Summer has been mind-blowingly fast, furious, and incredible, between volunteering, training, and VBSs.

*Justinb, as part of volunteering, fixed a computer technical problem on stage during and for a power point presentation when two other adults couldn't. I was floored.

*Justinb, Shawners, and I, all got to participate as actors in a disaster simulation designed to train rescue teams complete with dark rooms filled with smoke and debris. I alternated between the unconscious one who needed a chin lift to breathe again, finding my dead friend and not wanting to leave her body, and being traumatized. What an incredible learning experience. Justinb and Shawners started off together with a timber on Justinb. Unfortunately one of the rescuers DROPPED the 2x4 on him and he was out for the count with a big goose egg. Poor guy. Shawners took a break, but came back to be unconscious with me (the first time no rescuers found us and left us in the destroyed building!!), then wondered around confused with another actor. Incredible, incredible learning experience, and I can't wait to go through the training myself!

*My sister is an incredible motivator. As her friend puts it, children need roots and wings. My sister is incredible at giving them wings. I have totally placed their volunteer desires in her hands and she gives them responsibilities I would never dream they were capable of. And they take it and run with it and do better than an adult would with it!! It floors me.

*Since Justinb is hitting middle school, I have turned into a chauffeur. What a different role than Mommy who makes every decision and plan. Now he makes the plans, I agree, and I get him to where he needs to go to make his own decisions. We're still figuring out the issue of still needing to respect Mom and Dad even with all this independence. He's aware of it so that's a start.

*My email addy is changing so I am going through the much needed done any way job of culling Brando's old contacts and emailing my current contacts with my new address. Needed, but mind-numbing, especially because it's taken two hour and I still have contacts to email. I can only email so many at a time. I wish I had more brain power to write this post, but I got to what I want to remember.

Start of Summer

Today officially starts summer for me as the boys are out of school. I took my last two weeks off of school to decompress, be totally lazy, and do nothing but blog, lounge, and eat around the house. I'm glad I did, because it sounds like an oxymoron, but now that summer has started good-bye being lazy!

Justinbustin had a sleepover last night (his first at this particular friend's house, Lukie's), and Shawners was off to camp this morning at 7am. Shawners is staying with VBS's and cub sc*ut camp this summer, and Justinbustin is moving on to the bigger boy activities - volunteering at activities, boy sc*ut camps, youth group get togethers, etc. Their calendar is packed full of fun activities and I am the lucky driver.

My payback is still having some alone time at the house - this morning I used my alone time to clean Shawner's room since he so sweetly offered to give me his honor roll free ice cream if I would, as it has gotten too overwhelming for him to do on his own. Plus, there's quite a few boxes still unpacked in their room. After the flurry of moving help, I thought I could unpack the rest of the boxes on my own, but turns out I haven't. I want to declutter, yet decluttering and unpacking prove to be too overwhelming for me. I love having someone there to unpack while I put items in the "give shit box" (a term Li and M came up with to make giving away and getting rid of crap I don't need easier - it worked) and throw away box.

Hopefully, I'll be able to use some of that alone time for poolside drinks with Li since she is off for the summer as well, and KT, whose work schedule allows her day time.

For now, I'm happy the kids will be occupied during the summer, and I still get some alone time.

How a Parent Goes Out

Modified slightly (most is verbatim) from Mindy of The Mommy Blogger who wrote this article for ModernMom to apply to single people versus parents going out:

Single People:

Take a few hours getting dressed and doing makeup, pick a bar, go out.

Parents:

1.

Check bar location over the internet

2.

Confirm approximate time of going out with friend via text

3.

Confirm with sitter/significant other that times work for her/him

4.

Text friend back to tell her you're good to go

5.

Determine when and where the kids need to be dropped off and with who

6.

Race kids home from school, get them started on chores and homework

7.

Hurriedly shower

8.

Make dinner. One they will eat.

9.

Blow dry hair while simultaneously making sure kids eat said dinner

10.

Locate makeup bag in remote corner of car

11.

Put out movies for kids and new grown-up ones for babysitter

12.

Get dressed

13.

Have kids pick a project to do with babysitter

14.

Make sure babysitters favorite food and drink are in the refrigerator

15.

Get children to rinse and put away their plates

16.

Straighten hair, do makeup

17.

Assure babysitter that the kids will stop spitting at each other soon

18.

Jump into filthy car, hopefully without kids if the sitter/significant other is at home

19.

Drop kids off with sitter/significant other if not, and hope to make it on time

20.

Check mirror, decide you'll finish makeup after you find parking

21.

Enjoy

It truly has been a fantastic week

We still have no idea where we'll be living come next year, but it has been a fantastic week nonetheless.

*Monday: Girls night of course. And Anie came!! It has been awhile as she has been working on Mondays. Ambs had a baby and she comes back with her baby, Herbie, next week. So excited to see them both again!!

*Tuesday: Chill night. Loved it!

*Wednesday: Out at 2-1-9 West with Kels. Had a BLAST! Happy hour at 219 W*st with a peach martini for me, a blackberry martini for her, and then a white chocolate martini for each of us. Across the street to C*dar Park Courtyard for Sp*zmatics for their awesome covers that sound like the original and ridiculously funny interaction in between sets. Then to F*do's for two delicious Irish car bombs as we raced to down them, then back to Sp*zmatic to make fun of people before we finally parted ways at 1am on a Wednesday.

*Thursday: Cub sc*uts for the boys. I literally sat in the car and read blogs the whole time. Two whole solid hours of chilling to myself. It was perfect. Afterwards Brando and I finished watched Amelia as I promptly bawled my eyes out. Of course the ending was coming, but it didn't prevent the tears.

*Tonight: Not sure. May go back to F*do's for a round of pints and appetizers with a few friends, but may not. Either way, I'd be content just staying home and curling up on the couch with a good movie with Brando.

Coming out of the Fog

Things I did this week I want to remember:

*Wrote two papers

- Yay for my head clearing without that pressure!

*Took said papers by writing tutor

*Edited and finalized papers

*Did a history exam

With THOSE things done my head was cleared for:

*8 hour day with KT

- Taking her to an interview, picking her up, then bringing her to my house for decompression from her household drama, talking, studying, and C*stco

*Manicures and pedicures with Marli

- My first black tip pedicure and LUVin it

*Dinner with JaeWu

- She just had her baby but is back to work and completely back to herself as well as 100% communicating with me about how she can or can't get out of the house with her little one nursing - loving this. Normally my friends just fall off the face of the earth when they have babies and end up hardly ever being seen again :( .

*Night out on the town and the eastside

- With my favorite girl, My, after dinner with JaeWu, observing this strange new occurence of hipsters at Easts*de Showroom and Che*r Up Charl*e's, drinking Valper's at Easts*de Showroom, and eating rice paper rolls at Mes* Hungry. Mmm.

*Watching M's adorable little girl, K.

- I was so excited about watching her I immediately took her to Wal-mart to get Easter egg coloring kits, pancake mix, and cookie mix. We came home at 9am and made chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes, colored Easter eggs, and watched Dora before her Mom picked up her at 11am. Adored it.

*Girls night on Monday of COURSE

*Coming out of my fog

- In the car on the way to Costco with KT, who cheered that she was the one to witness it :) - love her, and realizing I WENT TO HAWAII, then spilling all of my most fun memories for the next fifteen minutes

There may be more, but that's what stand out in my head right now.

No time to talk

Went to Hawaii and back. Had a blast. Hiked to some incredible views and snorkelled equally amazing spots. Wrote a paper and read art on the plane and straight back to school. Picked up the dogs yesterday and caught up on phone calls with friends. Hawaii totally didn't require the anxiety I had beforehand about leaving so hopefully next time I'll enjoy the anticipation more especially the "I'm going to Hawaii!!" part. Only I already did so I can enjoy that at least. I went to Hawaii!! Yay!! Third time evah. Whoo!

This Week in Friends

Also in family and school.

Monday

Friends - Fabulous as always with the added benefit of studying this time around.

Tuesday

Friends - Brando got home early so we went to a friend's house to play in the snow on the golf course by their house. Then to IHOP for free pancake day with a big group of us for good conversation, yummy pancakes and more snow.

Wednesday

Friends - Met up with Li for happy hour to drink to a better day the next day for her. Decided we weren't going back to the particular restaurant we went to because of the douche bag waiter who gave us free drinks the first time we came, and went on and on about really stupid topics this time. Annoying. We can avoid that place until he no longer works there. Had a blast any way!

Thursday

Friends - Went to a grand opening party with my bl*g girls and got a goodie bag full of hair accessories, earring, chocolate bourbon fudge and more. The boys made screen-printed ties with an owl and tree branches before Brando picked them up for boy sc*uts. Almost made it to a comedy show with Li and M and was depressed I didn't. Then, I opened my goodie bag and was happy again. Had a tough conversation with KT that I'm not sure is over. I'm just over making plans with people who flake. Much as I loooooove her, if nine times out of ten, she's backing out I don't want to bother. I don't think she realizes it either which is why I called her out on it. So we'll see.

This Week in Family

Also in friends and school.

Monday

Family - SNOWWWWWW dayyyyyyy!!!! Picked up the boys from school after my class at 10:35am and played in the snow all day. They built an army of snowmen in the frontyard.

Wednesday

Family - Had a snowball fight in 56 degree weather using up the army of snowmen.

Thursday

Family - Oh, also, had a parent teacher conference with Shawner's teachers to discuss the fact that he's come home talking about his friends and him calling each other gay, sex, and drunkenness the last week. Not fun. I'm actually taking it all in stride which is surprising me. I think the hope that we'll be in a better position next year and seeing this as another opportunity to deal with life is the foundation.

Friday

Family - Boys c*b sc*ut banquet tonight!!! Actually, I guess it's only Shawners, because Justinbustin is officially a boy sc*ut now. Craziness.

This Week in School

Also in family and friends.

Monday

School - Studied for my art history test all day. Went to girls night with thirty pieces of art with their cities and dates still unmemorized. One of my girls sat down with me and helped me memorize all thirty pieces with cities and dates.

Tuesday

School - Killed the art history test.

Wednesday

School - Turned in my second English paper, yay.

Thursday

School - Found my art history professor wrote "Wow" on two out of three of my essays for the exam. Awesomeness.