Breathe

Seriously. Just breathe. Catching up from this trip has been INSANE. Here's an example from yesterday:

7:45am-9am Blogged (this is a minimal time for blogging, I am learning to include reading, commenting, photos, etc)

10am-11am Inspirational chat & coffee with KT at my home

11am Run

11:20am Shower

11:45am Pick up Justinbustin for lunch and discover he is meeting with the principal and vice principal

11:45-12:10pm Listen in on Justinbustin's and the principals and vps meeting

12:10pm Take Justinbustin to lunch

12:10pm-1:10pm Work with Justinbustin on understanding what "algaebraically" means & the shortest way to show his work algabraeically while eating

1:10pm-1:50pm Work with Justinbustin on his revolution poster

1:50pm Run home and use the bathroom

2:20pm Turn around and come back to school to find a parking spot

2:50pm Meet with Justinbustin's gifted teacher to discuss his progress on upcoming project

3:10pm Meet with Justinbustin's math teacher to ask if the algaebraic way Justinbustin came up with to show his work is acceptable (she ok'd it)

3:10-3:30pm Meet with Justinbustin's gifted teacher to finish discussing progress

3:30pm Pick up Shawners

3:30-3:45pm Discuss schedule for the afternoon with the boys in the car

3:45pm-5pm Supervise Justinbustin's homework

5pm-6pm Take boys to the pool for outside time

6:30pm Drop Shawners off at flag football practice

7pm Take Justinbustin to boy scouts

8pm Have Brando pick Shawners up from football practice

8-8:30pm Say hi to Mi

8:30pm Pick Justinbustin up from boy scouts

Today wasn't much better:

9:45am-11am Chiro appt

11am Pick up healthy breakfast from Whole Foods of OJ & Odwalla Protein Super Foods Bar

12pm Pick up Shawners for lunch

1pm Bring Shawners back to school

1pm-2:45pm Meet with the vice principal, principal, and Brando

2:45pm Bring boys home from school

3pm TRY to stay hands off with Justinbustin's agenda and ask him self-probing questions such as, "Do you have everything you need?", "How do you know?", "How are you going to break up this coming project?"

4pm-6pm Try to continue the above

6pm Get ready to go to friends going away party

7:30pm Go to friends going away party *crossing fingers* my headache will be gone by then

I can't even remember how crazy Wednesday was. I am aware it included volunteering and a chiro appt and a frustrated email about the three hours of homework Justinbustin had.

Can't wait to RELAX.

I'm Officially an Honor Student

I just completed my first honors class AND my first public speaking.

WHOO!!! *jumping around* *pattting self on back* *gleeful clap* go ME!!

Sooooooo freaking proud of myself. I almost dropped the class twice. Not for the honors aspect, but the public speaking aspect. Terrifies me so much so that I feared more than once I would fall over from shaking. Once I did lock my knees. That was not good.

But I got through it. I accomplished my goal of becoming confident to the point where I could give a speech if somebody asked me to. Now, hopefully, no one asks me, but if they did, I could do it and would kick it's ass.

Some things I learned about me as a speaker:

-I love to give lots of information...

Oh, what the heck, I'll just put up the final assignment by the public speaker so you can read for yourself:

1.) Discuss what you learned about yourself in the whole of the semester in
general.

This semester I learned that stressing over school is not worth the physical toll it takes on me, and that it's okay to take a break if need be with as much as is on my plate.

2.) Discuss what you learned about yourself in this class.

In this class I learned I like to be very factual and informational. I learned I would rather be quiet than speak on something I have not yet researched.

3.) Discuss what you discovered/learned from other people in this class.

In this class I learned from other people that each person has their own speaking style, and that each style is wonderful and unique to that person and the message they have to deliver.

4.) What do you honestly think you made in this course, in other words what
would you give yourself as a grade if you could grade your self-be
realistic! Base your answer on how hard you tried/what you put into it,
grades you have made, participation, attendance-have you missed a lot & why,
improvements as the course went along in your skills, et. Anything else your
grade should be based on?

I would give myself an A+ in this class based on the immense effort I have put into creating speeches that contain as much information as I can fit into it, the grades I have made (all A's, except for one B+), near perfect attendance, and the improvement in my speaking confidence, lessening of nerves, and belief in myself that I could actually give a speech if called upon, none of which I would've thought possible before I began this class.

5.) Final Thoughts:

This has been a very interesting class to take. There were several times I considered dropping it as the sheer amount of stress the idea of speaking has put on me has not been pleasant. However, my goal in taking a speech class was to become more confident in my speaking ability and be able to have the confidence to actually be able to take advantage of other speaking opportunities in my life if need be. I feel like I have accomplished that goal, and would be willing and prepared to speak at other venues if the situation called for it, and be able to speak well.

Part II-
1.) Formulate a general question about communication at large. Just ask the question. In can be general or specific.

My question about communication at large is: how can communication become more effective in relaying the true meaning to others?

Formulate a general question about public speaking at large. Just ask the question. In can be general or specific, or relate to specific problem.
My question about public speaking at large is: what is the best way to communicate your subject to your audience through public speaking?

2.) Briefly discuss how you have grown as a speaker. Then list 3 things you feel you do well as a speaker.

I have grown as a speaker in confidence in both my speaking ability, speech writing, and selection and development of subject matter. As a speaker, I believe I relay information well, maintain eye contact with each member of the audience well, and deliver a conclusion that leaves an emotional impact.

3.) List at least three additional tips to giving a speech.

Three additional tips to giving a speech are: deliver your speech with enthusiasm, connect with your audience through purposeful eye contact, gestures, and body language, and say thank you and walk away from the podium when done with your speech.

4.) What is the most important element in the introduction?

The most important element in the introduction is the speaker's connection to the topic.

And the professor's email response:
"Thanks for being such an amazing student. And thanks for, I think, finally believing me that you ARE, in fact, a really good speaker! I am SO VERY glad that you did not drop. I would have been crushed. Seriously."

DAMMIT

I completely, totally, one hundred percent forgot I had my government class yesterday. My parents are in town, the boys were off school, and it was Brando's one day off this week (besides the actual day of Thanksgiving) so I was in total vacation mode and it just COMPLETELY SLIPPED MY MIND. I am SO MAD AT MYSELF and trying not to be. The worst part is I was sleeping in!!! So I TOTALLY could've gone. It wasn't even like I missed a fabulous family breakfast like we had on Sunday when Brando made us an omelette buffet and made us omelettes to order. I SLEPT IN. I have an exam next Wednesday so now I will have to work twice as hard to make up for it once my parents take off. AND, UGH, I just realized I have a class next Monday too when my parents are taking off for the airport. AND a paper due that day. I guess I'm glad I'm writing this out so I can realize what I need to get done.

I've realized I have a HUGE PROBLEM when my schedule changes. I FORGET EVERYTHING I REGULARLY HAVE TO DO. Seriously, I don't know how many "regular" things I do that I have just completely utterly dropped when my schedule changes in the slightest, i.e. doing Wednesday folders for Justinbustin's class when I stopped volunteering on Wednesdays and Shawners had a field trip that day. I remembered Shawner's Wednesday folders, I even helped the Mom delivering spirit gear that morning. Just completely forgot Justinbustin's class!! Until the next morning even!

Much like this government class yesterday. Totally didn't realize I'd forgotten til' I woke up at 8am and panicked cause I thought I had to be in class in an hour. Then realized it was YESTERDAY I was supposed to be in class.

Ugh.

NOTE TO SELF (which I've made before, but maybe I'll actually follow it this time): Put on calendar and set alerts for regular events when something different is happening that day.

Just put it on the calendar for next week. I wonder what other regular events I might be forgetting in the meantime.

Ugh.

Dear Boys,

Justinbustin,

Wow. Justinbustin. Wow. I am bowled over by all you have done this school year. My heart is exploding with pride, and I don't know where to put it but here. You came home the other week telling me you were creating a newspaper with a few of your buddies from school. You told me you had come up with the idea and your friend had implemented it, that the two of you had recruited another friend and together you were coming up with the ideas. One of you was printing the paper, one of you was handing it out, one was writing about origami, you are writing the comics, and another was writing a story.

In the past three weeks your idea has exploded into a team of about ten children. The first week the three, then four, then five, of you were allowed to work on your idea during recess and lunch. All three, then, four, then five, of you worked hard at the computers in the library every single second of recess and lunch, only taking time to scarf down food at the end. The second week your class was grounded from being able to work on the newspaper because you were goofing off. You made a point of telling me you were in the bathroom while this happened and were not a part of it. The third week you were allowed to start back up, and the idea quickly grew.

On Wednesday you came home telling me you gained the support of your teacher, Ms. M, and another teacher in the same grade, Ms. V, and the support of the entire grade's staff of teachers. You told me you were possibly going to put it online, and take photos for the paper. You came home and did research on a school newspaper website link your teacher had given you.

On Thursday, you came home and told me you were recruiting more fifth graders and possibly fourth graders by quizzing them on their skills, either having them already or having to teach them. You made a flier for recruitment that you asked for my assistance with in editing. I was so honored that you would ask me and refrained from giving any ideas at all in order to not water down the fantastic ideas you already had. I helped you with punctuation, and was so proud that you asked me to. Your Dad was bowled over by the language of your recruitment flier.

Today, Friday, when I took you to lunch, you let me know your team, the originals - as you call yourselves, LOVEd the flier, and you were surprised by that. You thought they wouldn't. You told me you had the support of the principal, and the vice principal, and the vice principal was coming to talk to your team. You told me you were taking the paper grade wide, and talking about possibly taking it school wide.

When I came back to school to give you your herbs, your teacher shared with me all the amazing things you had already shared with me. She told me she loves to research and had been fully supporting you by researching. She told me your team is doing 99% of the work, and the rest of them are supporting you. She told me you are working on publishing the paper today for the class, and possibly getting it online next week. As I sat in the hallway taping up math vocabulary words for Shawner's class, she stopped by me again on her way to make copies of the paper to hand out. She told me the school had a school camera you could use, after you told her your Dad has a $2000 camera he is willing to let you use, which he is. She told me high schools and middle schools typically have newspapers, but not elementary schools. She told me there was another elementary school that had a newspaper in our town, and that the city newspaper published it for them. She told me she is going to do research on their paper this weekend. I told her I was in awe.

More accurately, I am in shock and awe. I am speechless. I am in wonder. I so desperately want to make my fb status this: "Jaw dropped and trying to pick it up off the floor. I have raised a man, a leader, a volunteer, a team player. The things he (you) is doing leaves me in shock and awe. Literally." Justinbustin, if you are what happens when one has a child at 17, I would highly recommend every. single. person. have a child at 17. You are amazing. I am bowled over. I am speechless.

Did I forget to mention you have become part of the gifted and talented program? For some reason you had never been tested - I always thought you had been. This year I referred your for testing before school started, and last week you told me you might be in it. This week I stopped by your school to do Wednesday folders and you had a permission slip I needed to sign for the testing. I did, then stopped by the G&T office after to make sure you didn't need anything else from. The teacher told me you needed to pass the creativity test, which you already had with flying colors, and that you needed to have an IQ of 126 or above (not positive on that number) to pass the rest, which she was sure you would pass using one of their tests. She said you weren't feeling well, so if you didn't pass that you could do it another day. She told me she would send the paperwork home with you. You came home that afternoon with the paperwork, testing 97% for the tests you needed, and with a permission slip to join the program. You have been wanting to be a part of this program for a few years now and you are so happy you are now. The kids in your newspaper team are also in the program, and I am glad you will get to spend more time with them being inventive.

You have turned into a man before my very eyes. When I hug your shoulders, I feel the strong, broad shoulders of a man, not a boy. You are up to my lips, and soon you will be taller than me. I am cherishing these days I still don't have to lift my hand up to ruffle your hair, but am looking forward to each moment of you being the man you are and the man you are becoming. I love you.

Love,

Your Oh-So-Proud Mom

Dear Shawners,

This week you made your meerkat animal habitat presentation. You came home last week determined to start it and so excited to do meerkats, just like Justinbustin did in third grade. I saw your habitat in your classroom the other day. You had copied Justinbustin's idea of an underground display as well as an above ground display, but you had hand drawn examples of predators and prey along next to the pictures of the meerkats you printed, cut out, and stood up on your habitat. I am so sad I missed your presentation, and hope you will do one for Dad and I like you talked about.

Today, I came by your classroom to give you medicine. No one was there when I walked in, except for a little girl who told me that your class had put pictures of our town's college football team all over another teacher's classroom, a teacher who likes UCLA's college football team. The little girl said the teacher screamed when she saw it. She told me that the teacher had retaliated by writing remarks on the pictures and pasting them all over your classroom, but that your class hadn't seen it yet. I hung around until your class came back to see yours and their reaction. Your class came back and broke out into your own screams, and then quickly tore the pictures down. My face turned red from keeping the secret and laughing. What a fun camaraderie.

Shawners, your communication is insane. We record or write down SO. MANY. of your sayings. The blog I have for your sayings doesn't even capture it all. Yesterday, you told me you wanted me to read your journal, but that you had to warn me you had drawn a picture of a g*n in it and named it "airass". You left it on my night table for me to discover as I went to bed that evening. I read the journal stories last night to your Dad, and was able to alternate my vocals like a storybook. The story flowed just as you talk.

Your attitude toward school is night and day from last year. Your teacher is organized, kind, firm, but loving, supportive, and encouraging. Your class is the quietest class I have ever seen. You are given the information and then work in groups to discover more information, which was hard for you the first few weeks learning to work with a group. Now you work seamlessly with others, as does the rest of your class.

You have a best friend. I asked you if this person was all that we had talked about at the beginning of this year that a friend should be, after last year's disaster of friends and hurt feelings. I asked him if he was kind to everyone, not just you, and you said he is. I asked him if he was honest to everyone, not just you, and you said he is. I asked him if he helped others, not just you, and you said he does. You want me to set up a playdate with him, but I am confused about his family situation. You say he does not have a mother. You say there was a woman who had him like a mother, but doesn't have a mother. I asked you if he had two dads, and you said no, just no mother. This is where my social awkwardness comes in, and I don't know how to approach having a playdate, but only at our house. Perhaps I could join you on your playdate to his house until I trust the family. But that might be awkward. I'm not sure how to approach this subject, but I don't want to squelch your friendship by being awkward. I hope I do right by you, but we will see how it plays out.

You are playing flag football this season, and you were SO excited about your first game. You told me, "Mom, I forgot to tell you - that was AWESOME!!" with two big thumbs up and a grin. Your coach has twelve kids on a team and it is the first time he's ever coached. He has his hands full, but he is putting his all into it. He feels like he let you down the first game, but none of your team noticed. You all just had fun. He sent out six for your team to memorize before tomorrows game, but heck if I know what they mean. I showed one to you, and you said you know what it is, so I'm not worried about it.

Shawners, you make me smile and laugh. I love when you dance when the music comes on, and lately I've broken out into dance along with you, not caring who's watching. We sang together the other day as I showed you how I was learning to sing in tune to Hey Diddle Diddle while watching the baby I watch. I found it on the internet and sang it for you while you listened. For once, you didn't ask me to stop as you usually do as your naturally in tune ears quickly catch anything off tune. Yay for my voice lesson accomplishing the goal I went in with. Then, I asked you to sing it with me, and you said you it was hard for you to sing loud, so you sang it quietly in my ear with me.

You tell me I'm beautiful. Yesterday, I had my pajama tank top on and had just pulled on jeans for the day. You walked into the room and said, "Mom, you look beautiful." You are such a mini-your-dad with these compliments. You make them at the most random times, when I've just done my hair, just put on a new outfit, pulled up my hair, or just picked you up after you haven't seen me all day. Just like your dad, it seems you think out loud, as you say the comment instantly with seemingly no time for thought processing.

You are an amazing little man, and I love you.

Love,

Mom

Fun

Liking:

*Volunteering at a low-cost veterinarian clinic with KT and getting woozy (read: high) off the fine dust of dewormer, and not figuring it out until after I'd licked my shirt trying to get the taste off my mouth and stop my tongue from going numb. Yup, licked my shirt. It was hilarious with our non-stop giggling and off the wall comments: "My tongue is numb." "I have no thought processes." "I can't feel my legs." "Do you want to eat at Chipotle?" with a blank look and a "Suuuurrre." from KT in response.

*Seeing someone while I'm volunteering who was shocked that I'm 29 and being told she would've put me between 18-21

*Justinbustin and his two buddies developing a school newspaper with the support of their teachers and including all types of different sections, and recruiting. This deserves it's own post.

*Not wearing makeup for two weeks and feeling confident enough that I'll even go on dates with makeup. On top of that, getting comments like the above while not wearing makeup, and also, from Li, a shocked, "You're NOT wearing makeup?! Your skin is all one tone."

*How friendly the carpool line is at the boys' school.

*My motivation to clean, clean, clean and do, do, do after volunteering this week.

*Shawners doing his meerkat presentation at school yesterday.

*Girls night with KT and Ande for the first time this week with Jamaican Chicken with Mango Salsa and Brittney Spears' Glee

*Of course girls night with M, Li, and Ambs - and K & Herbie too!

*Discovering the magic that is Zilker park with a skyline view in the fall

Not liking:

*Still struggling with accepting aging. Fb photos do NOT help since I can see the difference from three years ago to today. I want to delete them so I'm not tempted to look at them, but they're my scrapbook, so I'm not sure how to delete them without taking them away. I have figured out it is studying that has worsened the texture of my forehead and line between my eyes. Yes, I'm a research fanatic (okay, freak), and yes, I have been researching my own photos. It got really bad in February - right after the start of my second semester. It lightened up in summer with no school. And it started to get bad again as I started school this semester. I have figured out I squint while reading. I read a lot - I figured 48 hours for one textbook, and I've lost count of how many I've read the last two semesters - at least three or four. That's a LOT of squinting. My poor face. So I am working on not squinting while I study. I also got Frownies to wear at night which seem to be helping. Not sure if they can reverse the damage though, and I wake up an hour before I get up to take them off lest the boys think I'm crazy. I'm fully aware I am - okay, maybe, not FULLY aware, otherwise I wouldn't be doing it at all.

*My lack of taking pictures lately. Brando got me a new (pink) camera, since my other one went to the shop and will cost more to repair than replace. This one is a Nikon, which I thought I would like, however I am NOT liking the quality of the sharpness. The pictures come out so grainy! I am looking forward to returning it and going back to Canon, crappy as it is that it burnt out (almost, literally) on my after just a year.

*Having the boys in school at a chemical plant. Still. Shawners has had weird things going on since, and I'm trying to stay unparanoid and attribute it to allergies which are REALLY bad this season for everybody, but he's never had things like this before - headaches, neck aches, leg aches. It's just weird. I would pull him out right NOW if it weren't for his teacher being so fabulous, and how well he is doing.

180

My life has taken a 180 since last week. Last week, Shawners had headaches since school started, I had no job, I did not volunteer, and I was considering going to work full time and dropping out of the semester in order to do so.

This week, Shawners' headaches have been subdued with homeopathic allergen drops for mold allergies, I am working 10 hours a week at hopefully $20/hour at a job that works with my current schedule, and I am training to volunteer at a low-cost veterinarian clinic that serves the community by offering low-cost services and even free services to the homeless.

Also, I realized when Brando and I both realized separately one day last week that it might be better for me to work and not do school for awhile (mostly so we can work towards replacing our cars that need replaced), I had intended to drop school this semester to do it. I found out Brando had meant for me to finish the semester and work next semester. It's nice to have his support for me to keep going, even though I have little to no desire to do right now.

Today

So many fantastic things happened today. I definitely want to remember them:

*Gave my first speech of my Public Speaking speech class and was shaking like a leaf. However, two of my peers came up to me after class and thanked me for what I said on love. Loved that!

*Met up with KT to get both her's and my car washed. Too fun!

*When I picked up the boys from school today the lady who says the kids name in the pick up lane already knew their name and then said it was the first one of the year she memorized. I cheered for her :) (and the fact that we were the first name she memorized).

*Justinbustin's teacher is the one who walks the boys to the car and she told me today through the car window that she read some of Justinbustin's writing today and then put her hand over her heart and made a "oh that's precious" face. At first, I didn't understand, then I said, "Yeah, his writing can be touching." Justinbustin later said it was because of the scrolly fancy way he writes his letters, but I don't think she would put her hand over her heart for that.

*Shawners gets in the cars and says, "You look sexy." when I'm in jeans and a tank top. He's a little mini-Brando.

*Received my financial aid check for school in the mail today.

*Received our vow renewal pictures in the mail today!

*Ice Cream S*cial for b*y sc*uts tonight