Moving Forward

If we keep second guessing every decision we make, we’ll never get any where. All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

Sleepy

While I miss cuddling up to Brando it's kind of nice being able to pass out at ten o'clock and remember what it's like to have to take my kids everywhere with me - even out with friends. It reminds me of the quality friends I have who love my kids so much - sometimes more than I do when they have so much fun with them.

Back in time

Just introduced my kids to Elvis Presley's Hound Dog (wow, that was painful to watch - overdo the sexy and screaming much?), his version of Frank Sinatra's song My Way, and Blue Suede Shoes. I noticed several things. One, Edward from Twilight

looks like and has the same mannerisms as young Elvis Presley.

And apparently I'm not the first to notice.

On top of that, the site I found the above picture at also pointed out that Kristin Stewart looks like Lisa Marie Presley. So true and too strange!

Second, I had NO idea Elvis Presley got so old and gross before he died. He was sweating like a pig at his last performance! No wonder my kids always ask me, "Why did Elvis Presley die on the toilet?" I wasn't aware he did until they told me, but I've always told them because of drugs. I just thought he died when he was still young and still, well, Elvis.

School

Here we are at the crux of deciding for a school for the boys again. Word to the wise FIGURE OUT WHERE YOUR KID IS GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL NOW while they are still young. As a seventeen year old with a kid it never crossed my mind that I would need to figure where he would be attending school in five years when I was 23. So I've been flying by the seat of my pants ever since. Fortunately I have come to my own personal theory and conclusion that people who moved around a lot as kids are better adjusted adults. Case in point: me. I never moved around. I went from the same school, the same two teachers through all the grades for six years. Then I went straight to homeschool and besides a few brief testing periods at another school that was all I knew. I live in the same house from almost as far back as I can remember until I was 16 and moved out for a few months before moving back home when I discovered I was pregnant. I have a HORRIBLE time adjusting to change. Breakdown, meltdown, panic attack time. In admitting that to myself I am hoping that I am ironically doing my children a favor by moving them around and having (almost) private panic attacks every time I do. Maybe one day they'll adjust easily to change while I clearly do not.

Relaxing

This weekend was absolutely wonderful. So very relaxing with non-stop gabbing with Goldilocks and the girls.

The drive there through the wildflowers, mimosas, fresh salads (created by Goldilocks and apparently inspired by me, but now I'm reinspired), good music, girl talk, meeting Goldilocks super interesting, kind, and oh-so-romantic Architect, blackberry and champagne drinks, champagne and citrus drinks with Hawaiian flowers,

dark lit loungey bars, all of us in our glasses on Goldilock's bed with even more girl talk, passing out mid-sentence, waking up to skyping with R and morning coffee, brunch at Breadwinners with frozen cherry limeade vodkas and delicious tomato artichoke omelettes,

sad good-byes, and the drive home.

Absolutely. perfect. weekend.

How a Parent Goes Out

Modified slightly (most is verbatim) from Mindy of The Mommy Blogger who wrote this article for ModernMom to apply to single people versus parents going out:

Single People:

Take a few hours getting dressed and doing makeup, pick a bar, go out.

Parents:

1.

Check bar location over the internet

2.

Confirm approximate time of going out with friend via text

3.

Confirm with sitter/significant other that times work for her/him

4.

Text friend back to tell her you're good to go

5.

Determine when and where the kids need to be dropped off and with who

6.

Race kids home from school, get them started on chores and homework

7.

Hurriedly shower

8.

Make dinner. One they will eat.

9.

Blow dry hair while simultaneously making sure kids eat said dinner

10.

Locate makeup bag in remote corner of car

11.

Put out movies for kids and new grown-up ones for babysitter

12.

Get dressed

13.

Have kids pick a project to do with babysitter

14.

Make sure babysitters favorite food and drink are in the refrigerator

15.

Get children to rinse and put away their plates

16.

Straighten hair, do makeup

17.

Assure babysitter that the kids will stop spitting at each other soon

18.

Jump into filthy car, hopefully without kids if the sitter/significant other is at home

19.

Drop kids off with sitter/significant other if not, and hope to make it on time

20.

Check mirror, decide you'll finish makeup after you find parking

21.

Enjoy

A comment turned post...

in response to a post by simple and lovable where she was wondering if anyone else looks at other lives and are 100% envious and jealous of where their lives have take them and wishing you'd known to make decisions so your life wouldve turned out similar:


Oh heck yes!! Currently I've been feeling that way a LOT. But then I stop and think about how people looking at my life who feel the same way I do when I look at theirs and I appreciate everyone and everything in my life more. Look at your life through the eyes of other and you will realize all that you have, and all that the decisions you have made HAVE brought you. For example, I look at you and think oh how I would love to have my own business and be confident enough to deal with so many customers and clients with professionalism the way you do, not to mention the discipline and know how to run a business!! That being said, then I stop myself and realize maybe you want what I have - an adoring hubby, two beautiful boys, and weekends full of adventures. It doesn't stop the wondering but it makes me appreciate all that I have and realize no one can truly have it all - we're all missing something but oh so fortunate to have what we do have.

It truly has been a fantastic week

We still have no idea where we'll be living come next year, but it has been a fantastic week nonetheless.

*Monday: Girls night of course. And Anie came!! It has been awhile as she has been working on Mondays. Ambs had a baby and she comes back with her baby, Herbie, next week. So excited to see them both again!!

*Tuesday: Chill night. Loved it!

*Wednesday: Out at 2-1-9 West with Kels. Had a BLAST! Happy hour at 219 W*st with a peach martini for me, a blackberry martini for her, and then a white chocolate martini for each of us. Across the street to C*dar Park Courtyard for Sp*zmatics for their awesome covers that sound like the original and ridiculously funny interaction in between sets. Then to F*do's for two delicious Irish car bombs as we raced to down them, then back to Sp*zmatic to make fun of people before we finally parted ways at 1am on a Wednesday.

*Thursday: Cub sc*uts for the boys. I literally sat in the car and read blogs the whole time. Two whole solid hours of chilling to myself. It was perfect. Afterwards Brando and I finished watched Amelia as I promptly bawled my eyes out. Of course the ending was coming, but it didn't prevent the tears.

*Tonight: Not sure. May go back to F*do's for a round of pints and appetizers with a few friends, but may not. Either way, I'd be content just staying home and curling up on the couch with a good movie with Brando.

Things I Like About Today

*Hand sanitizer made by Gold Bond that doesn't have alcohol and goes on like lotion, yet still kills 99.9% of germs.

*Texts from my husband that say, "I love you beautiful."

*Lunch and Starbucks date with Shawners with mini chocolate donuts with sparkles

*Watching Amelia while reading art history - perfect for a rainy day

*Discovering the book You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought - I've already read several gems and can't wait to read the rest. It reminds of the format of Eat, Pray, Love where it's broken into very small chapters that are so chock full of insight and thoughts that I can only read one chapter at a time in order to let it digest.

*Getting a clean bill of health for Shawners at the doctors as he's been sick for the last seven days.

Slow Day

Lately I've been very very chill about being at home. Maybe it's this insane storm of pollen that's getting to me, or maybe it's the vacation and overload of homework that got to me, maybe it's just realizing I won't be in this place much longer and don't feel the need to get out so bad. Whatever it is, I'm not necessarily hating it - I just wish I was doing more homework as a result! Not so much - a shitload of errands, hanging with the kids, a beer, and blogging about covers it.

I love my husband...

...because he encourages me to go on weekend trips to see my Grandma getting married even when my youngest child is sick

...and he has a secret stash of chocolate for when I get cranky

...and he folds all the laundry while I do homework

...and he makes me bubble baths when he sees I'm stressed

...and he tells me I'm pretty when I haven't taken a shower for two days and have my hair in a ponytail with two day old makeup

...and he cooks with me

---------------------------------------------------

Life is stressful and demanding, but he makes it easier.

Disclaimer: Format copied almost literally from Dixie DIY's adorable post which I loved so much I couldn't resist doing it myself!

Second Post from the Past

On a whole other subject.

Brando and I have been off the wall lately. Yes we've been married ten years, but that doesn't mean it gets easier. It gets harder in some respects. Things are more familiar, in my case more boring. It gets harder to keep things alive, fresh, and fun. It gets harder to be light and silly with each other. We still are, but it just takes more work.

When we do go on dates (which I very regrettably ALWAYS make because they're what makes me happy) they are a BLAST! We go see live music, go to free events and sometimes free dinners! In fact, I just won two $45 tickets to the Hill Country W*ne and *rt Festival this coming weekend (which I may not be able to make due to my weekend in Dallas - boo). We won a dinner to the Dr*skill which we are looking forward to using and we also have a free dinner at Z Tej*s. We leave home behind and enjoy ourselves when we do those things.

At home is another story - we have the stress of the home, location, boys, school, money, and way too much other things going on. We don't always agree on how to deal with them, yet we're both responsible for dealing with all of it. It's stressful.

Fortunately, every time I look at him, I see the man I married and I realize I REALLY want to be with him, even with all the crap that we have to deal with. My only wish is that we dealt with it better, nicer, kinder, quicker, and more succinctly. We'll get there. Maybe. Or not. Either way it's got to be done.

Because I can

And because I want to be a good blogger. Posting from the past11!

I am SO excited for next weekend! Dallas here I come! Goldilocks, and her good friends E and M, and I will be having a girls weekend! Even though I am in Arizona today to see my grandma get married and my cousin and sister are here I am uber excited to have an all girls weekend! It's been way too long since I've had my coveted girl time Saturdays, as illustrated by my way too many exclamation points. I can't wait to drink, relax, and girl talk, possibly not in that order.

Speaking of girl time, I so covet my Monday night girl's nights. Time with Li and M is the BEST unwinding and refreshing time. Ambs had a baby recently and Anie got a new job so lately it's just been Li, M, and I - just like old times. It's kind of been nice. I miss the other girls, but I love it being just the three of us, too.

I've been uncertain of my social life lately. After Hawaii and kicking back with Brando on the beach and in the sunshine I've been much more chill than normal at home. Hell, I'm home on a Friday night typing this for Saturday!! That NEVER happens. But I'm okay with it and strangely satisfied by it. We are moving back into apartments so the boys can go back to their school that they and I love next year, but in the meantime I'm enjoying this chill. I would hate it if I knew it was forever, but since it's not, I'm relishing it.

On another note I've been apologizing all over myself for not being my normal self to friends lately and I am DONE with it. No more sorry I didn't call yesterday, no more sorry I want to stay home, unless I've said I will do it and I don't, no more sorry! Live with who I am or don't. It's your choice and I don't care what you pick. Actually I do but if you don't live with it then I don't. I love what KT said the other day when I told her I need to learn to be more strong. She said, "You are." That's why she's my best friend. She believes in me. And I believe in her. Can't wait for her to be spending the weeks with her staying at my house, thanks to her parents strangely doing a 180 with their attitude lately!!

This post is all over the place due to my mojito and I'm about to go refill it.

Drama

So I thought my mother-in-law troubles were a thing of the past. I was wrong.

Before the Hawaii trip I was SUPER stressed about going and still studying for school. I vented to her a lot because she seemed to be a willing ear. I ended up venting WAY too much about B, which I realized I should stop, but I didn't. When we got back from Hawaii I got upset with B and she tried talking me out of it and I wasn't going to have it. B and I got in a loud fight that night. The next day she took us to the airport and everything seemed fine. I asked B to call her that night to let her know we were safe and he did.

Fast forward to the rest of the week - we call, we email, no response. She leaves a few fb comments for B - I leave a cutesy banter one back to B, then all of a sudden she's gone off fb. Fast forward to the weekend and she still hasn't talked to us. I apologize up and down and she responds favorably. Easter we text her and call her and say happy easter. She texts us happy easter. Next few days with calls, emails, texts on our part and no calls back from her and barely texts or emails. Next few days she gets back on fb but doesn't include B and I. For some reason, that hurts my feelings more than anything. She has B's brother, his fiancee, our friends, but not B and I. Call me sensitive but it feels like a stab in the back.

To top it off rewind to where I started talking to her more before all this started - after she called upset because we hadn't called her enough (not on purpose, because of the busyness of life). I started calling her much more often. Since she usually talks a ton when I'm on the phone she started becoming one of my sources to talk to. This is what I get for using her as a source I guess. I knew better, but I guess I didn't really know. I guess after five years of no drama by me walking on tip toes and egg shells I thought it would be okay again. I'm not sure what I was thinking!!

Good Morning Sunshine!

Things we/I are doing that's making me happy:

*The house is on the market

*Looking at apartments. Please, please pray we don't have to end up in a sh*thole apartment just to get the boys back to their school.

*Getting a 100 on my second art exam!! Totally blown away. Was not expecting it after the first 100.

*Getting along well with my hubbers, and actually being silly.

*With the fog from vacation and having to overstudy to work for it lifting I've gotten out more, but still enjoyed being at home just as much.

*A night of nothing this week. I literally wandered around the house and did nothing. Not even sit on the computer.

Some might say high energy

The first time I realized I was not a sit down and do nothing kind of person I walked two miles on blistering (literally) hot pavement to a payphone to get away from a do nothing situation. Guess I've been running from doing nothing ever since!

Bloglines

So behind on my readership... about to hit "mark all as read" on my bloglines again. Start fresh! I've kept up on my faves (probably yours if you know about this blog) and that's it. Now I want to get back into my daily reading, but am thinking a clean slate would be much less overwhelming.

Coming out of the Fog

Things I did this week I want to remember:

*Wrote two papers

- Yay for my head clearing without that pressure!

*Took said papers by writing tutor

*Edited and finalized papers

*Did a history exam

With THOSE things done my head was cleared for:

*8 hour day with KT

- Taking her to an interview, picking her up, then bringing her to my house for decompression from her household drama, talking, studying, and C*stco

*Manicures and pedicures with Marli

- My first black tip pedicure and LUVin it

*Dinner with JaeWu

- She just had her baby but is back to work and completely back to herself as well as 100% communicating with me about how she can or can't get out of the house with her little one nursing - loving this. Normally my friends just fall off the face of the earth when they have babies and end up hardly ever being seen again :( .

*Night out on the town and the eastside

- With my favorite girl, My, after dinner with JaeWu, observing this strange new occurence of hipsters at Easts*de Showroom and Che*r Up Charl*e's, drinking Valper's at Easts*de Showroom, and eating rice paper rolls at Mes* Hungry. Mmm.

*Watching M's adorable little girl, K.

- I was so excited about watching her I immediately took her to Wal-mart to get Easter egg coloring kits, pancake mix, and cookie mix. We came home at 9am and made chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes, colored Easter eggs, and watched Dora before her Mom picked up her at 11am. Adored it.

*Girls night on Monday of COURSE

*Coming out of my fog

- In the car on the way to Costco with KT, who cheered that she was the one to witness it :) - love her, and realizing I WENT TO HAWAII, then spilling all of my most fun memories for the next fifteen minutes

There may be more, but that's what stand out in my head right now.