Holy crap, I'm having a nostalgic, regretful sort of day.

*I missed the boat to volunteer for the library in Justinbustin's school. I *thought* the office needed help so when the library email came around, I emailed back saying I was going to volunteer in the office this year. By the time she got back to me saying the office volunteer list was full and I got back to her saying I'd do library, library was full. AHHHHHH. I am so panicky and stressed that I won't be able to be in Justinbustin's school once a week to observe the dynamics of seventh grade. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. they have been in school except for 4th grade for Justinbustin and 2nd grade for Shawners (the sucky year for everybody when I was in full time school and too busy to do anything including pull them out of a crappy school) I have been involved in doing something weekly. In elementary (HUGE tip for you public schoolers, by the way) I did Wednesday folders, which I'm still doing for Shawners this year. I LOVE Wednesday folders. It allows me to be in the classroom once a week on a regular basis, converse with the teachers in a conversational manner, and observe the dynamics of the classroom, my kids' work habits, and relationships. Love, love, LOVE it. The library with Justinbustin was PERFECT because he came in every morning and I would observe the same, minus the teachers - although they would come in occasionally as well so at least I got to know their faces not something that's very common in middle school. I also mistakenly believed Justinbustin wouldn't be in there for lunch time, total fail on my part because of COURSE he'd be in there at lunch time as then is his only time to be in there this year. UGH. I am SO SO SO MAD at myself. Okay, I have to get over it. I am praying a spot opens up - not for a bad reason (maybe someone gets a full time job?) and I can come in. I already emailed the volunteer coordinator AND the librarian since I know her from last year. Crossing fingers and praying I get a spot! By the way, on another positive note, how COOL is vying for a volunteer spot at school versus nobody wants to or is available to volunteer at all and they are desperate to fill the positions?! This is one of the reasons we love these particular schools so much - the parents are so involved and jump at the chance to volunteer and be involved. Mostly because they can afford to, at the same time, nobody says they HAVE to, they definitely want to and choose to.

*For those of you on my facebook (pretty sure that's all of you) and saw my latest status, do you want to know something? I look back at my *own* pictures and think, wow, life was perfect back then. Even two weeks ago!! Then, I snap myself out of it and remind myself of all the difficult things and work we went through to have those moments and get there. One thing I definitely DON'T regret is deciding about seven years ago to ONLY take pictures of happy moments where we are all getting along and loving each other. That way when I look back at pictures now, I don't have to question if they were truly happy moments, I realize they are, but I also realize all the work to get to that moment.

*Took my neighbor's little girl, K, to school today. Her Mom dropped her off early this morning while the boys were still getting ready. By the time I was ready and went out to get her, she was in tears on the couch. M had told me she'd been crying when she dropped her off early at a friend's house to go to school and said she'd been asking if her Mom could drop her off at my house instead, so her crying made me SO sad. I asked her if she knew why she was crying and she said, yes, she missed her mommy. My heart broke for her. I took her and Shawners to Starb*cks before school for berry coffee cake and chocolate milk, then read one of the books from her backpack to her before I dropped her and Shawners off. Then, I promptly texted her Mom who said K is leaving to her Dad's right after school - her Dad's wife is picking her up, which might be the reason she was so teary. That made ME want to cry!! I think that might be one of my panicky stressful feelings right now, my heart hurts for her SO MUCH. I told M next time I'll have her come in and get ready with me. I'm not used to having girls, but I think I would've enjoyed the company when I was little.

Whew. Okay, I really think the K thing was stressing me out. I actually wanted to pick her up after school today as well, so when I heard her Dad's wife was picking her up it made me even sadder. Maybe I'll go sit at lunch with her instead. Yes, I think I will.