Milestone.

Shawners has a girlfriend. If, by girlfriend, you mean a girl he has already asked to next year's middle school dance, and asked her to sit next to him on the bus.

As usual, parenting my boy's causes me to take a long hard look at how I support and react to friends and their issues. In this case, especially single friends. I've been thinking on how I support friends in their relationships for awhile any. Mostly because it seems when I stop getting involved or giving advice that's when they find their 'one', get married, and live happily ever after (okay, we all know happily ever after is work, but work well worth the effort). Reason not meaning causation, as the causation could solely be the fact friends step away when they do find the one, not finding the need to be involved because their 'one' is fulfilling a lot of that. Either way, I do realize that when friends are in relationships I put a LOT of focus on their relationships, mostly invited and more often than not requested focus. However, I am realizing that, alone, can be so destructive to their relationship, invited or not. No relationship should be the focus of ANYone's life, much less the focus of their friends for them.

I was reading through Shawners texts with the girl he likes yesterday - all seventy-two text pages of:

Him: Hi
Her: Hi
Him: What are you doing?
Her: Reading. What are you doing?
Him: Taking the dogs potty.
Her: Cool.
Him: You say cool a lot. Is it because you don't know what else to say?
Her: I don't know. I guess so.
Him: K. Gtg
Her: Ok talk to you later

in between him asking her offhandedly about going to the dance next year and her saying yes, devising a plan for the two of them to sit together on the bus for their field trip today, and mentioning another guy is mad at him because the other guy likes her, too.

I realized all of his texts, and hers, were very respectful. I decided to focus on that, instead of being mad that he was hiding texting her from me - and Face Timing - the new phone these days. Had I not scoured Justinbustin's iTouch the other day and discovered at least twenty different social media apps I had NO IDEA about that various friends of his had posted videos from class doing school projects, etc., on, I may have freaked out a bit more. I feel like I'm calming down a bit about social media and realizing this is the new format for kids. They're still kids, and you still have to teach them character regardless, and this is just the new way they express themselves. It's still passing notes, staying on the phone til' 3am in the morning, and taking silly pictures. Just online. Weird, but today's day and age. And, who am I kidding? I've met some of the most amazing people and some of my closest friends through the internet, along with maintaining so many relationships that would have otherwise fallen completely by the wayside.

As I started reading his texts, and after begging for his iTouch back and realizing I wasn't going to give it back, he went outside to play, I'm sure wholly embarrassed. When I was done reading, I went outside to water my plants. He calls me from his Go Phone and says, "Mom, when and if I come home, are you mad at me?" I say no. When he does come home, I tell him, "Shawners, I want to talk to you. You were very respectful, and I agree talking to your Dad is a wise idea if you have any questions. That's all I have to say." I mentioned the part about talking to Dad because he had texted her, I'm thinking I'll tell my Dad.

Yesterday evening, I prayed his focus in any relationship would be on God, and not on the relationship itself. He turned away from me, and I asked if he was upset with me. He says, "No. Did you read ALL the texts?" I replied, "Yes. You know me, I'm a crazy reader." Pretty sure, he was thinking about the dance at that moment, but I didn't ask.

Ironically, I was text updating Brando the entire time I was reading through his texts. After I'd told Shawners he was respectful and that's all I have to say, Brando's text advice was to tell him he sounds respectful. Love when he and I fall on the same page.

I'm actually kind of relieved. He's been talking a lot about being small, and I wanted to make sure being small didn't hinder his confidence. His Dad is on the shorter side but doesn't let being so affect him at all. I am relieved to know Shawners is following the same path.

Lord, lead me on this because I'm leaning on you!!

I'll post some of Shawners texts in another post from my phone. They are too cute not to preserve, although they may not stay up forever.