Christmas this year...

is different. No family, no fanfare, gifts under the tree only two days before Christmas along with the tree skirt we found last night in the garage. No meal plans yet with Christmas a day and a half away. Stockings not all the way covered. Oma's gifts may get here tomorrow night, they may not, in which case we'll have more stockings and gifts after Christmas. No baking. No cookie making. Not much to make it a holiday. Actually. I still feel like Christmas is a month away. But I'm not really sad about it. Is it strange to say Christmas doesn't feel like a priority this year? It just doesn't. Admist our struggles of moving, life, and school, Christmas seems like the least important thing on the list.

The kids are still excited about it, thank goodness. They decorated the tree this year, hung the stockings, and wrapped the first presents under the tree. I sit back and wonder if this means they'll help out when they have homes of their own. I hope so. I don't like doing it on my own, and being excited about it on my own. Brando is laissez-faire about the holiday as he always is.

Though this year he is taking care of Santa's presents. That's a help, I guess. But his Mom usually takes care of it, so maybe not really. It is something our oldest really realllllly wanted though. So that's nice. Who remembers the little presents any way (except for me ; ) ? It's all about the big ones isn't it. Well, that's what Brando believes and this year I just let it be. I got a few special ornaments that will remind me of the bittersweet memories of this year and I am happy.