Sleep

Is what I need.

Grateful for is what I'm feeling and attempting to focus on instead of being disappointed my appointment setting to have Justinbustin's teeth pulled inadvertently pushed him down to second string from first string where he didn't play as much in tonight's game that his team lost 38 to 8 where he got 'trucked' in one of his three plays by a big kid on the other team. Grateful he wasn't on the field the whole time and trying to let that override any guilt I feel for doing what needed to be done.

Missing my hubby. Their branch has a yearly audit tomorrow they just found out last night would happen tomorrow. He'll be home after midnight. Grateful he doesn't work long hours or travel for a living. So many have to deal with husbands being gone and I'm not sure how they do so. I used to enjoy my moments alone. Now I miss the heck out of him as we get so little time as it is.

Regret is what I feel for the nuclear meltdown we had Friday night. I apologized over and over to the boys but it's not enough. No reason for things to get out of hand like it did. Nothing physical, but pure ugliness, exhaustion, and stress coming out in the worst of ways.

Tired is how I'm feeling about this week. Tomorrow will be the third day Justinbustin has gone straight from school to another activity that we've all been at. Only I will need to be at this one and twil' end a lot early, but tired is how I feel.

Nostalgic for baby life is a general feeling for the last few years. I'd really love to adopt as I always have. Not sure if that's a possibility. Part of me wants to have another. Another part of me isn't sure I could parent a baby and a high schooler at the same time. Ones emotionally exhausting, the other is physically exhausting. I'd be exhausted all over.

And I'll end on that theme and maybe do something about it by getting some sleep!